3 articles Tag trends

Creating a Proper Family Garden

We’ve lived in our current house for almost two years now and this year we’re planning to do a bit of a makeover in the back garden. It’s a pretty big space and is very basic, with a large lawn and a patio area, and it’s completely functional as-is, just a little uninspiring. We’re planning to live in this house for years to come so it stands to reason that we should be optimising the space that we have for us as a family. HouseBeautiful have written a great article about making the most of your garden and it’s got me thinking.

Borders

At the moment, our lawn is just one large, plain space, but we’ve been toying with the idea of edging all along one side and adding a flowery border. It would add some much needed colour to the space and would break up the huge expanse of green that the eye sees. We’re also big fans of anything that attracts bees so we’ll definitely be looking into what to plant for a bee-friendly garden.

Shelter

Given the fact that this is Essex and not Marbella, having a shelter in the garden would make it so much more usable because we wouldn’t be at the mercy of the unpredictable English weather. Oeco make a range of garden rooms which would provide us with an amazing outdoor space to allow us to be indoors and outdoors at the same time.

Lighting

Outdoor lighting is something that I get REALLY excited about (I know, I’m tragic) and I’m planning to get some solar powered string lights to give the garden a beautiful Midsummer Night’s Dream feel to it. Our current outdoor light is a fixed-point, motion sensor floodlight which is NOT conducive to relaxed evenings in the garden.

Furniture

Our current garden furniture consists of an old picnic bench which was left be the previous tenants and some plastic garden chairs which were passed on by my mother in law, The current stuff is okay, but it really doesn’t inspire you to spend any time sitting on it! What I’d really like is one of the outdoor sofa sets which would allow us to sit in the garden as a family, as well as enjoying a meal and having guests over too.

Design Touches

I think one of the things which makes our garden look totally plain is the complete lack of design touches, like pots or plants and ornaments. It’s my birthday in June and I’m hoping for vouchers for a garden centre so that I can buy some bits to make our garden look fabulous.

What have you done to make your garden a better space for your family?

Beauty Fads I’m Not On Board With

I’ve been thinking lately that I need to start making a bit more effort with my appearance. My day-to-day look is very low-maintenance, usually because I’m just in and out of the car taking Sausage to school, doing the shopping and all of the other things that the average 30-something Mum of two does on a daily basis. I chuck a bit of make-up on but that’s about it, but lately I’ve been noticing that beauty has gone to a whole new level and suddenly we’re all obsessed with eyebrows and strobing! There are, however, several beauty trends that I WILL NOT get on-board with and I thought I’d share a few of them here:

Waist Training

waist-training-kardashians

When I first saw this, I genuinely thought it was a joke. For those of you not in the know, waist training involves wearing increasingly tight corsets in order to “train” your waist to be smaller, and is championed by the Kardashians, amongst others. The fact is, it’s absolute bollocks and simply doesn’t train anything, but it probably does have a terrible impact on your internal organs and ability to, you know, breathe or efficiently digest food.

Anal Bleaching

white starfish

I know, I’m a little shocked even at myself for mentioning anal bleaching, but it’s one of those things which has inexplicably gone from ‘weird, niche thing for porn stars’ to ‘thing that supposedly normal people are doing’. Never in my life have I seen a bumhole that I thought needed a coating of Domestos, but apparently it’s all the rage. Find out more with this anal bleaching guide

Pointy Nails

pointed nails

Let me say right here, I actually LOVE the look of a pointy manicure (not the scary, mega-long ones though!) and I’m insanely jealous of anyone who rocks this look, but I just cannot cope with long nails, no matter how hard I try. I’ve tried having regular fake nails, not even pointy ones and I find it impossible to type, use my phone, put tights on, wipe my arse and just about anything else that requires me to be tactile, and adding a point on the end would basically render me useless.

Are there any beauty trends that you find absolutely crazy? Or are you a huge fan of pointy nails and whitened bottoms? I’d love to hear your opinion on this so do leave me a comment below.

5 Current Trends Which are Definitely NOT For Me

Looking around at the fashion that’s in the shops and on people I see in the streets, you could be forgiven for thinking that we’d woken up in the early nineties, and don’t get me wrong, there are things about that which I LOVE. Plaid shirts, Dr. Martens, double buns and ripped jeans are all SO welcome in my wardrobe but there are a few things which have made a resurgence which really are not for 2016-me. Here’s a run down of the things which 32 year old me would love to get involved with but just simply cannot:

Chokersnot-a-good-look

I won’t lie; when I saw kids wearing chokers again, I was a little bit excited. I used to LOVE my tattoo choker (you remember those stretchy plastic swirly ones?) and had it in black AND rainbow colours, and I even had a velvet choker which I made myself for special occasions. “Awesome!”, 32 year old me, thought. “Lets get a choker”.

Then, Sausage made me one out of loom bands and I realised that my jowls hang down over the front of it, making it look like I have a tourniquet around my neck and my head is a swollen balloon of flesh floating above, which is just about as far from a good look as I could possibly have imagined, and is exactly why chokers will not be making a regular appearance in my wardrobe.

Crop Tops

crop top

Not actually me…but probably not far off of what I’d look like in a crop top.

I mean…do I really need to elaborate here? I barely wore crop tops when they were in fashion 20 years ago but now, after two c-sections and, let’s face it, an adulthood of gluttony, crop tops are something that only other people wear. Don’t get me wrong, I have seen women of my age and even older wearing them, rocking the whole ‘high waited skirt/crop top’ thing and looking pretty classy, but even the TOP of my tummy is a mass of stretchmarks and therefore a NO SHOW AREA.

Underwear as Outerwear

miss-hannigan

Ah, I remember the good old days when silk nighties became fashionable and every dress on the market looked like lingerie. In fact, I actually owned one myself, which was probably wildly inappropriate because I was about 13 at the time but still had D-cup boobs, so I probably looked like a tiny prostitute. Apparently, silk slips have made a come back, but the best chance of me embracing this trend is when I nip to McDonalds drive-thru at 11.30pm when I’ve got a severe McNugget jones and don’t want to change out of my slippers. Silk nighties – NO. UGG slippers – YES.

Tiaras 

just-no

So, according to some mush who works for Yves Saint Laurent, we’re all supposed to be wearing tiaras with everything this season, a la Courtney Love with her smeared lipstick. I can assure you, if I started wearing a tiara on the school run and round Aldi, my family would seriously start looking into having me sectioned.

Dungarees

bella-dungarees

See, this one makes me sad. I would LOVE to rock a set of dungarees and I think they look lush on other people. I, however, am not built for dungarees. Carrying as much weight around my centre mass and having as large a bust as I do would absolutely guarantee that I would look less Kate Bosworth and more Bella from the Tweenies…

Do you have any current trends that you’d love to wear but just have to steer clear of? I’d love to hear about them so do leave me a comment below!