Family · Happiness · Parenting · Personal · Pregnancy

A Step Towards Independence (Or: A Shift in Our Relationship)

Being pregnant has been infinitely more pleasant this time around. People keep telling me how well I look and I have to check to see if they’re talking to someone else, so used am I to being ill, pallid and drawn when up the duff. I never thought I’d be the sort of person who would wear pregnancy well, so to look in the mirror and see my skin and hair looking so healthy, colour in my cheeks (but not too much; my rosacea is better than its ever been) and none of my extremities resembling those of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters is a real treat.

However, pregnancy is already affecting both Sausage and I in other ways.

BP (Before Pregnancy), I loved nothing more than being able to pick my girl up and give her a cuddle. I can’t do that now – obviously, I shouldn’t be lifting heavy things, but my back and pelvis simply wouldn’t allow me to at the moment anyway. Sure, I can still snuggle with her on the sofa, or bend down for a hug, but it’s not the same.

In a similar vein, I’m no longer able to lift Sausage out of the shower anymore. Our shower is an over-the-bath one and BP, I’d wrap Sausage in a towel and lift her out. A recent trip to Ikea and one step-stool later, Sausage is now able to step in and out for herself and while I’m proud of her for being so willing to embrace independence, I feel sad that it’s something that she can no longer rely on me for.

We want Sausage to be fully involved with this pregnancy and everything else, which is one of the reasons that she’s attended all of my scans so far, and Husband and I have spent the last few months telling her all of the ways in which she’ll be able to help her little sister when she comes along, but I’ve become really conscious of the prospect of forcing her to grow up too much.

I’m also concerned that it will affect our relationship in a more general sense. She’s already started going to Husband for things that she’d normally come to me for (although, she’s very close to her Dad anyway and is lucky to have him working from home) and if I’m preoccupied with a baby, I can only see this getting worse. I cherish my relationship with Sausage, as any mother does, and the thought of it changing irreparably is a real concern.

All I know is, by the time the baby is born and I’ve recovered fully from my c-section, it will be almost a year since I’ve been able to pick her up and although I’m so happy about adding to our family, it does make me a little sad that I’ll have missed out on that interaction with her. I guess it’s normal to be having these thoughts and this is just one of many changes that are inevitable when you have more than one child, especially when there’s a five and a half year age gap, but I’m just so not ready for Sausage to no longer rely on me.

So, dear readers, any of your usual words of advice? As usual, it would be much appreciated.

Family · Parenting · Personal

Three Plus One…

If you’re friends with me on Facebook, then you’ll already have seen my not-so-subtle, monochrome addition to my photos. However, if you didn’t see it then you won’t know what I’m on about!

12 week scan

It’s official, our little family of three (well, four including Chuck!) is about to add one more to its numbers, as Husband and I are expecting our second child. Sausage is absolutely thrilled at the prospect of being a big sister, she came with us to the scan and seeing her face when we explained that the movement on the screen was actually tiny arms and legs was just priceless, in fact I wish we’d managed to get a photo of that too!

I’m around 13 weeks gone, although the sonographers keep changing my dates by a day or two either way, but we’ll be meeting Baby on or around the 10th March.

So far, this pregnancy has been totally different to my last. With Sausage, I discovered I was pregnant because I had such violent hyperemesis that I managed to tear a whole in my oesophagus. This time, touch wood, no sickness at all, although I am feeling the tell-tale aches that make me think I may get the dreaded SPD again.

The most difference, however, is my diabetic status. When I was pregnant with Sausage, I developed gestational diabetes at about 28 weeks and had to be closely monitored thereafter. However, because I didn’t look after myself very well after giving birth, the diabetes turned into Type II, so I’m going into this pregnancy as a diabetic, which raises its own set of complications. I’m testing my blood sugar FIVE times a day and am at the hospital every other week to see one of my two consultants, a diabetic Midwife or a dietitian.

Because of all of this, I’m on a very low GI eating plan, which means that I have to stick to foods which don’t cause a sharp raise in my blood sugar and release their energy over a longer time. It’s not been at all easy and I’ve made some mistakes along the way (sourdough bread? SO not low GI..) as well as having some rather EPIC tantrums about the awkwardness of the boundaries around what I can and can’t eat, but I’m getting there and making some rather pleasant discoveries about what is still on the menu!

This will be a new blogging experience for me too; Sausage was 2 when I started Mum’s the Word so I’ve never really blogged about having a newborn. That’s not to say that I’ll completely change what I write about, or that I’ll climb down off of my soapbox in any way, but there may be a few pregnancy and baby-related posts in there too.

So there you have it. After Sausage’s birth, I wasn’t sure I’d ever get my head around the thought of having more children, and I won’t pretend I’m not absolutely terrified at times, but with 5 years, a lot of love and support from Husband and Sausage and a little bit of blogging catharsis, anything can happen!