2 articles Tag relax

How To Enjoy ‘Mum Time’ When The Kids Are Out The House

As a Mother it can be hard to get yourself some free time for rest & relaxation, we spend all day dealing with work and kids and even when you don’t have the kids with you, it’s likely that Dad requires some attention too. But every so often you’ll get some peace and quiet, maybe Dad has taken the kids to the cinema to watch a film. You’ve got the house to yourself for a few hours and you’re going to enjoy it. So this brings up the question of what to do when you have your Mum time (aside from the obvious answer of “opening the Red Velvet Baileys and enjoying a glass or three”!).

First off, we have the go to for anyone looking to relax: The humble bubble bath. It’s really understated how much a nice bath can take the edge off, especially when you’ve been running around after your children all day. Draw a nice warm bath, maybe light a candle & put some music on, then hop in and relax with a nice glass of wine. Really as a Mother, you never get a nice bath uninterrupted, it’s likely that if you have a long bath one of your children will want you whilst you’re in there, so finally getting to enjoy a soak without being dragged out half way through is amazing!

Next up, we have an unconventional activity for mothers, video games. Games are often seen as the activity for Dads & teenage boys, but Mums can enjoy gaming too. If you can get a hang of the controller (or even just play a mobile game), you’ll fall in love with games for the same reason the boys do. Gaming is a big stress reliever, whether it be getting some anger out by shooting some zombies, or getting engrossed in an amazing story gaming can be an amazing way to cut loose, especially with all the options available, if you have a smartphone you can get yourself a free game to play to distract you for a while.

Have the girls over, so often when you’re a parent it can feel you spend more time with your children’s friends than you do with yours, so a free house is a perfect opportunity to catch up with some old friends, have a cup of tea and talk about life, maybe even split a takeaway and a glass (or two) of wine and just enjoy hanging out with your friends.

Catch up on all the TV you’ve missed, you know how it is, the kids have control of the TV until dinner time, so you’re stuck watching cartoons all day, then when your partner gets home from work they take control of the remote, so it can be hard to actually get to watch what you want to watch, so why not take advantage of the alone time with no competition for the TV, put on whatever you want & get caught up on everything you’ve missed.

“My Name’s Mummy and I’m a Stresshead”

(Bear with me while I get through the necessary pre-amble, there is a cogent point somewhere at the bottom of this post!)

Last September, we made the decision to send Sausage to Nursery three mornings a week and I couldn’t, in good conscience, sit at home scratching my arse while she was out, when I could get a job and contribute to the family coffers. Husband had been amazing about me staying at home instead of going back to work after my maternity leave ended and I thought I’d take some of the pressure off of him for a change.

I’d been lucky in that I fell into working from home, managing social media for a few brands as well as a bit of  writing and other bits. I brought in a small wage and still continue to do most of it, alongside my ‘real’ job which is in an Accountants office. Bit of a Jack of All Trades, you could say.

But, I digress. The problem I seem to have is that I find it hard to switch off.

Take today (and I wish someone would…); I had a manic day in the office, I’ve just increased my days to four a week and it was payroll day, so I processed around 30 payrolls in about 4 hours. It’s usually fairly straightforward and most clients only have one or two people on their payroll, but today was just problem after problem. One client wanted his P45 issued..oh, did I mention, he’s moving to Australia TOMORROW so it all had to be processed, scanned, emailed to him, submitted to HMRC etc, and I was informed of this about half an hour before I was due to come home.

The actual work isn’t an issue, I can do it with my eyes shut, it’s the fact that I go into hyper-work-mode to get everything done on time and then after I leave, I can’t seem to manage to shake hyper-work-mode off and get into home-mode. Even when I go home, get out of my work clothes and sit down with Sausage, I’m still thinking about tax returns, payroll and my current side-project of getting a website up and running for my boss.

I’ve not spoken much about it, but I suffer on and off with anxiety. It’s not been getting the better of me as much lately, but it started when I was eleven, carried on through my teens and early twenties and was compounded by Post Natal PTSD after I gave birth. The crux of all of this rambling is that my unspent work-mode energy seems to be manifesting itself as anxiety. I get all hyper at work, come home, feel unable to unwind and by dinner time, I’m having a full-blown panic attack.

So, what do I do, people? Does anyone else get anything even remotely like this, or am I just a big weirdo? What can I do to stop it, if anything? I’d love to hear your thoughts.