Love

Can I Find Love After A Separation?

May 5, 2021 Jayne1 Comment

The pandemic has taught us a lot about ourselves. But it’s also been a revelation for a lot of couples. Some have seized the opportunities to fall back in love again. Others have discovered with horror that they’d grown too far apart to carry on with their dreams of a happy ever after. It’s no surprise that many relationships have emerged or dissolved during the many periods of lockdown.

Yet, when you’ve spent many years in a long-term relationship with your partner, it can be devastating to consider a separation. Thankfully, a lot of couples who have chosen to go separate ways during the pandemic have managed to do it on friendly terms. So there’s one less thing to stress about as you ask yourself the big question: Will I find love again after a separation?

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You are in charge of how you feel

There’s a big difference between finding love and being in a relationship. If you focus too much on finding someone to prove to yourself that you are worthy of love, you may end up settling down for something that doesn’t make you happy. There’s no secret: If you are insecure about it, you’ll struggle to find the confidence to hit the dating scene again, as per a previous article on http://www.mumstheword.me. When you start to find happiness in who you are, you find it easier to follow your heart than your fears. While it doesn’t mean that you can’t do some work on yourself. You may want to get fitter or stronger, and that’s great. However, make sure that you’re doing it for yourself and not to impress your future date. If you let self-esteem issues and self-doubts guide you, they will inevitably encourage a relationship for the wrong reasons. And that’s the last thing you want in your quest for love.

It doesn’t have to be something serious

Here’s the thing: You may be ready to have fun, but that doesn’t mean you want to jump into the next long-term relationship. When you’ve spent a lot of time in a relationship, sometimes, it’s good to enjoy your time alone before hitting back the dating scene. It’s a fantastic opportunity to figure out what you want and like. And ultimately, it doesn’t hurt to enjoy casual flirting without any engagement before you move onto more serious things. Get back into the flirting game with things such as https://www.freechatlines.com without any expectations. Or you could simply turn to chat-friendly platforms that let you reach out to people and find your voice again. Needless to say, when you’ve been on your best behaviour for years, it can be interesting to find out just how much fun talking to strangers can be.

Using it as an excuse to get back to your ex

Understandably, it’ll take some time to figure out who you are when you’re single again. We tend to define ourselves through our relationships, so it’s fair to say that you’ll have to update your social media presence after the separation. Your future partner will see your social media presence, so it’s about showing your true self rather than trying to get back at your ex.

Hoping for love after a separation is the dream of everyone. More often than not, your approach will be crucial in making room for a new relationship. Self-confidence is a game-changer, in your flirting game, in your worth, and in who you are.

My Nostalgic Music Playlist #MemoriesInMusic

October 6, 2020 JayneLeave a comment

If there’s one thing which is sure to evoke a lot of memories, it’s hearing a particular song which reminds me of a specific time in my life. Some of those memories are so strongly linked to the song that it can actually remind me of how I felt when I was hearing it, way back when. Chums, the online-fashion retailer have recently created a campaign to search for Memories in Music to help people bring the happier days back to life. With this in mind, I thought I’d share some of my most nostalgic songs for you:

Rhiannon – Fleetwood Mac

When I was 6, my Mum and Dad split up, and my Mum and I moved in with her parents for a while. We shared a set of bunkbeds in their small second bedroom and although it was cramped, I was happy. Mum had job in a bar and I’d sit with her in the evening, watching her get ready, listening to her music – the smell of hairspray reminds me of this, too! Mum had her stereo and a load of vinyl in our room, and one of her favourite bands was Fleetwood Mac (she had a bit of a Stevie Nicks vibe going on in the late 80s!) and Rhiannon reminds me so much of this time.

Mmmbop – Hanson

Anyone who knows me well knows that I was a MASSIVE Hanson fan when I was younger. When Mmmbop came out, I immediately fell in love and even to this day, I feel transported back to a really happy time when I hear it. My whole bedroom was covered in Hanson posters, including the ceiling, and I used to spend Saturday mornings sitting by the TV with a blank tape in the VHS, waiting to hit record, just in case they came on the telly!

Rewind – Craig David

When I was about 15, my friends and I would spend every Friday night at “Intrigue”, an under 18’s Nappy Night, located in an old bingo hall. We’d get dressed up in what were, looking back, some rather over-the-top outfits (a powder blue lace dress, white Wonderbra and a white feather boa was a personal fave, and NO, my mother did NOT know I was going out dressed like that!) and feel like we were going to a proper nightclub. UK Garage was massive around this time, and this song was a particular fave…still is, if I’m totally honest! It’s like my guilty music pleasure.

Everlong – Foo Fighters

I’ve loved Foo Fighters since the first time my friend Steven played The Colour and The Shape to me, back in the late 90’s, but Everlong has always been my favourite. When Husband and I met, one of the things we immediately bonded over was music, especially Everlong. We’d been together just a few months when we saw Foo Fighters play in Hyde Park on the day after my 22nd birthday, and it’s been something that brings back amazing memories ever since.

God Only Knows – The Beach Boys

Another song that is special to Husband and I is “God Only Knows” by The Beach Boys. When I was around 9, my family and I lived in a house which was just down the road from a second-hand record shop and it became routine for me to go there on a Saturday morning and buy a record. I started collecting vinyl and Pet Sounds was a personal fave. In those early days of our relationship, when we’d sit and talk for hours, learning about each other, I found out that Husband was a huge Beach Boys fan when he was a kid too. Back in September 2016, we were lucky enough to get tickets to see Brian Wilson perform at a local venue, and it was one of the most amazing experiences that Husband and I have ever had – it’s something I’ll remember until I’m old and grey.

What are your #MemoriesInMusic? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

Adulting · Love · Relationships

Lockdown: Keeping Your Relationship Alive

May 7, 2020May 7, 2020 JayneLeave a comment

There’s no denying the fact that lockdown is making things feel pretty bizarre for most of us at the moment. Families are spending more time together than ever, thanks to school closures and isolation measures to protect us all during the coronavirus outbreak, and adult realtionships are being strained in many cases. Between spending 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the same space and the kids being around ALL. THE. TIME, finding time to be intimate is one of the hardest things about “The Current Situation” (as it’s formally known in most households!).

With this in mind, I thought I’d share with you five tips for keeping the spark going in your relationship so that quarantine doesn’t have a negative effect on your intimate life:

Sexting

While whispering sweet nothings might be tricky when you’ve got little ears around all the time (what is with their hearing, as well? They’re like bats, until you mention tidying!), sending your partner a message containing some steamy content is the perfect solution. Install an encrypted app like Signal and reserve it solely for sexting with your other half. As well as helping to build tension, you’ll get a little jolt of excitement every time you see a message from your chosen private app.

Lockdown Lingerie

If you’re aything like us, you’re probably spending most of your time in pyjamas or loungewear, neither of which are known for their sexiness! Why not invest in some sexy lingerie sets from Steamy Genie? Even if you slip them on UNDER your comfies, a glance of something sexy and lacy underneath your flannel P.J.s will let your partner know you’re still thinking about your provate times.

Try to Have a Routine

Okay, so while I’m not suggesting a sex schedule (is there anything less sexy?!), having a proper routine can really help you to find time to be intimate. Lots of the people I know have thrown the normal routine to the wind and the kids are going to bed later, waking up late and not really sticking to any sort of timings. Make sure the kids eat dinner, have a bath and get to bed at a more reasonable time and you’ll find yourselves with much more time to dedicate to each other in the evenings.

Try Something New

I think we can all admit that everything is SO far from normal right now, so instead of bucking against this, why not go with it and try something new during lockdown? We all have those little curiosities that we’ve thought about trying but just haven’t got round to mentioning to our partners – well, there’s never been a better time to try it! Just don’t go TOO crazy, as now is really not the time to end up in A&E with a sex injury!

Tidy Up and Have a Date

We’re all probably quite sick of our surroundings at the moment, and our motivation for housework can be tested when it seems like no sooner do we tidy than the place is a mess again. Work together to get the house back to being spotless and then enjoy the spoils of your labour by having a date night. Cook a meal together, watch a movie and just spend some time enjoying each other, instead of sitting in front of the TV or games console while the other uses their smartphone!

Pets

Creating a Comfortable Home for Your Pets

March 2, 2020September 6, 2021 Jayne9 Comments

We all love our furry friends. They make a rather dull home cozy. You can always look forward to their cuddles each evening. And, with a little training, you can get your pets to do some basic chores around the house. But, are you reciprocating the love that your pets show you. Is your home comfortable for your pets? If not, here are some tips you can use to remodel your home to a pet-friendly environment:-

Use Pet-Friendly Furnishings

If your kids like to cuddle the puppy in bed, ensure you have a water-resistant mattress cover. It will keep your mattress dry despite the accidental pee from the pet. Likewise, use sofa covers or pet-friendly fabrics in your living room. Other pet-friendly furnishings include low maintenance floors that will not strain you to clean. Avoid carpets that tend to pile up pet fur and other allergens. Instead, use replaceable rugs in heavy traffic areas. Then, opt for hardy fabrics around the house. Such materials can withstand the scratches and jumps from your playful pets. Keep off from silk, velvet, or any other delicate materials.

Study Your Pet’s Behavior

Now, our cats, dogs, rabbits, or birds love the outdoors. Yet, they may not know how to communicate that they need to step out. A good pet owner will study the pet’s behavior to understand how it interacts. That way, he will allow the pet to flourish and be happy. For example, we train our pets to pee outside. Yet, if you do not have a door opening for your pet, it may never practice this good habit. Hence, ensure your doors have an opening at the bottom with a self-shutting valve to keep out other animals. If your pet is always uneasy, it could be having fleas or ticks.

Conduct Regular Grooming

Grooming is a crucial part of keeping pets. For a pet full of pests will always be itching and feeling uneasy. Plus, excessive pet hair can make the dog or cut not able to play, run, or have fun as much as it would want to. Hence, ensure you take your pet for regular checkups. During these checkups, the pet will get its routine shots and deworming. It will also have a thorough bath, shave, and disinfection where needed. Note, the grooming is also about maintaining a pest-free environment for your pet. Hence, consultants like Pest Control Delray Beach can assist you further to prevent any outbreak of pests in your home.

Maintain a Stable Outdoor Shelter

Now, not all pets sleep in the house. If your dog or cat has its shelter outside, ensure it is as comfortable as possible. Do this by weatherproofing the enclosure. This way, you know your pets are safe from the harsh weather. Plus confirm that this area is free from rodents and other pests. Or, you can incorporate the kennel onto a section of the house. Make it appear like it is part of the house extension. Then, install ample pet furniture for comfort.

Pets can tell when they are treated well or not. Hence, they reciprocate the excellent treatment by being loyal to their owners. Then, plan to make your pet as comfortable as possible. If you are still not sure how to go about it, consult your vet for further advice. They can study the pet and let you know what routine is best for them.

Kids · Opinion · Parenting

Why I’m Not A “Cool Mum” (And Why I’m Totally Okay With That)

May 17, 2016 Jayne3 Comments

Cool Mum Being a parent really makes you view things in a totally different way. I was talking to some friends the other day about how, when we were kids, we did the whole ‘hanging out in front of the shops to ask an adult to buy us cigarettes’ thing. We were all saying that, now we’re mums, there’s no way in the WORLD that we’d buy cigarettes for a child who was underage and that when we look back, it was terrible of us to have been coercing adults into our naughtiness, but it’s a prime example of how our views have changed with our personal circumstances.

Last week was Sausage’s school disco and it’s kind of a tradition that I always go along and help out, usually on the stall which sells all the novelty neon crap that the kids absolutely lap up. I commented to another mum that there seemed to be a whole lot more make up, perfume, body glitter and skimpy clothing at this disco, which is mental given the fact that the oldest kids there would have been 9. I know they’re in the juniors now, but it seems like they’ve all suddenly taken a massive leap away from childhood and towards the hairy, scary teen years.

It got me to thinking; should I be letting Sausage experiment with these things more to help her to fit in? Obviously, my brain screamed ‘NO’ before the thought even completely formed, and here’s why: I firmly think that allowing her to wear make-up to events would be selfish of me. You see, I’m completely against it, so if I were to loosen the rules, the ONLY reason would be so that she’d think I was a “cool mum”. I’m sure she’d be thrilled if I let her leave the house in make-up, but who would ultimately benefit?

The thing is, for me, parenthood is about being the bad guy sometimes. I’m sure Sausage would think I was the best Mum ever if I suddenly became permissive and let her wear make up, skimpy clothes, forget her homework, generally get away with living the easy life. But as her mother, it’s ON ME (and Husband, obviously) to make sure she does things, no matter how much it might make her resent us or how horrible it feels to be the bad guy. And, I’ll go as far as to say that, sometimes, I really don’t give a toss how much they hate me – homework needs to be done, manners need to be remembered and some rules MUST be followed, no exceptions.

Don’t get the wrong, I’m not talking about being a hard-ass all the time; she’s a really good kid which means she often gets leniency just because we know she’s the sort of kid who won’t take a mile when given an inch. We use our judgement to decide what’s okay and what’s not and I’m sure that, sometimes, our version of okay is different to what other people might consider suitable (for instance, she’s a huge fan of Bob’s Burgers, which is probably not aimed at her age group but we know she’s mature enough to deal with the slightly more grown-up themes in some episodes).

The main thought that I can’t shake is simply that Mums aren’t supposed to be cool. Sure, there are times when mine and Sausage’s interests overlap but largely, kids are supposed to cringe at their hideously outdated parents. As a person, I’m not trying to appeal to a 7-year-olds sensibilities and I feel like it would be really weird if I did. It’s one thing to enjoy watching Harry Potter together, but it’s quite another when you realise that the parent is actually sadly immature and is trying to avoid being a grown-up!

However, the fact is, as parent, it’s our job to make the tough decisions, to be the ones to guide the girls in right or wrong and to make them do the things they don’t want to do, regardless of how much it might make them hate us, or how ‘uncool’ we seem. So, you see, I’m absolutely FINE with not being a ‘cool’ mum, because that means that I’m being a good Mum. What do you think? Is it possible to be “cool” and consistent? Do you go our of your way to be a cool Mum or would you rather be seen as a stuffy old adult if it means your kids are safe and happy? I’d love to hear what you think, so do leave me a comment below.