7 articles Tag Husband

5 Great Luxury Gifts for Your Man

Let’s be honest with each other here, as much as they wind us up, husbands and boyfriends are pretty great (usually). They’re our partners through life, helping us each step of the way! So when it comes to a special event, or when you’re just feeling grateful, it’s nice to get them something super special; a luxury item that they’ll be really thankful for.

These moments of love are great but equally, they come with a lot of pressure. You want to make sure that whatever you gift you choose is amazing and perfect but what are the options? How can you be sure it’s the best one for him? Fortunately, here we have a list of great choices to get your cogs turning, hope it helps!

Watches

Watches are a classic choice. Luxurious, stylish and suitable for both casual and formal events, you can’t really go wrong with a quality timepiece. On top of the general elegance, watches also serve a practical purpose that you can use all-year round (a rarity in most luxury items), so not only are you supplying your significant other with an exclusive piece of menswear, you’re also giving a gift they can actually make USE of. Everyone knows that practical gifts are the best ones.

Cufflinks

Cufflinks are an essential part of any man’s formal ensemble. They’re subtle, they’re fashionable and they can add that little bit of pizzazz to his look. The best part about giving cufflinks as a gift is that they come in so many different styles, making it easy to pick out unique designs that complement your spouse’s specific tastes. Tateossian cufflinks are some of the most distinctive and impressive available, definitely worth checking out to add that extra wow factor to your man’s outfit.

Cologne

Cologne is a typical gift option. Nowadays, designer fragrances can cost a fortune, bumping them up to the ’luxury gift’ zone, but boy are they worth it! There are few things as great as when your partner smells REALLY good, it just makes them more irresistible. On top of the great effects of cologne, as you’ll be the one buying it you can make sure you love the scent before purchasing. It’s a fool proof plan that results in a great smelling better half! Just to help you on your mission for the best fragrance, here’s Forbes’ nine best men’s colognes of 2018.

Sunglasses

The summer months have passed and we’re slowly edging into winter but that doesn’t mean sunglasses are a bad gift choice. Great for any bright day, sunglasses are versatile and useful all year round. One of the best things about sunglasses is the massive variety available. Everyone has different tastes, different styles and different looks, so why not look through your partner’s wardrobe and get a few ideas of the colours that might work? Alternatively, just ask him what he likes! Use articles that show off multiple styles to help you make an informed decision and you’ll find the perfect pair in no time.

Wallets

Last but not least, wallets are one of the few items that most men carry around everywhere, meaning they’re always going to appreciate an upgrade. Before you make your purchase though, it’s worth doing a little research. Take a look at what your partner’s wallet looks like already because clearly, they like that style, then find another that emulates it. It’s also worth keeping in mind the features available and the habits of your significant other. Does he carry change all the time? Then a coin pocket would be appropriate. Does he have LOADS of cards? Then make sure that whatever you pick has enough space to fit all of them. Regardless, there are so many styles of wallet available today that you should be able to find a suitable one easily.

These formal menswear gifts are great but there are hundreds of other luxury options, so don’t be afraid to experiment and pick out something your partner would love. Often the most unusual gifts are also the most thoughtful and the most loved.

Cute Valentine’s Day Ideas To Show You Care

51% of women believe the main purpose of Valentine’s Day is to show you care according to a recent survey and quite right to. There’s enough hate and disruption in the world around us, why not take any excuse to show the love? Perhaps you always celebrate 14th February, perhaps you and your partner let it breeze by without so much as a card. Whatever your Valentine’s Day style, these cute Valentine’s Day ideas are sure to shake up your Valentine’s Day traditions and have you smiling about your memory of Valentine’s Day 2017 for years to come.

Spoil Him

Did you know that in some Asian countries Valentine’s Day is focused on the man in the relationship, and the woman has to buy the man presents. According to the same survey, only 41% of men believe Valentine’s Day has a point, but you can convince any man of its purpose with the right approach. Sure a snuggle in the morning might get him a touch more excited about things, but why not spoil him rotten all day? What would he most love to do on Valentine’s Day? Maybe you can set up a gaming den and play his favourite computer games with him for a couple of hours. What about an activity he loves you have always refused to try – surprise him and book both of you in to do it. Maybe he is a big foodie – plan a food tour of your local city, accounting for breakfast, lunch and dinner. You might even want to go Big Bang Theory AKA the Valentine’s episode in season 6, where Amy plans a completely no pressure, no romance evening for Sheldon because she knows he hates Valentine’s Day. Only you know what would tickle his fancy, but he will probably be very surprised to find the focus on him this  February the 14th.

He’s got all of the Valentine’s Days for the rest of your life to spoil you, so why not this year, make it all about him?

Who Doesn’t Love Holidays?

A holiday is the most popular valentine’s day gift or, at least, the most wanted gift anyway. Clinking coconut cocktails on a sunny beach somewhere tropical, sharing a bag of hot chips and a cold can of pop on a blustery UK coastal town, stargazing from a hot tub in a remote lodge as it starts to snow – sigh – even we want a holiday for Valentine’s Day now! Escapism is always a romantic prospect, whatever the occasion, the only problem is, it can be extremely costly to go away for Valentine’s Day because everyone else is.

The solution? Give a holiday for Valentine’s Day. Don’t start remortgaging your house just yet, it doesn’t have to cost the earth. This could be one night in a hotel somewhere a couple of hours drive away, or two weeks somewhere tropical. There is a trip to level out against the amount you usually spend on perfume, flowers and a meal out. This prolongs the joy of Valentine’s Day because it gives you both something to look forward to.

Food Is The Food Of Love

Food, relates all of us because we need it to live and to thrive and everybody has certain dishes they get excited about. Food also brings people together, creates a shared experience and it adds to the occasion and atmosphere of any event. Cooking for your partner, is an age old Valentine’s Day tradition, but, that doesn’t make it irrelevant or dated. If anything, with all the amazing ingredients we have access to, the social media sharing of recipes and presentation and the embracing of taking our diets into our own hands, it is the best time to be cooking and sharing that experience with a loved one. There are endless ways you can share the foodie love with your significant other, here are just a few great ideas:-

  • Make homemade truffles and gift them in a pretty chocolate box. Try out this easy chocolate truffles 4 ways tutorial.
  • Make breakfast in bed complete with naked apron attire, rose and an incredible breakfast spread. This ultimate pancake recipe guide should come in handy.
  • DIY sushi rolls – lay out all the ingredients and then make the rolls together. There’s a lot of fun to be had with chopsticks, sticky rice and a shared experience. This how to make sushi guide is a great starting place.

Why go out for food, when you can have so much more fun at home?

Give Love To Others

On Valentine’s Day we focus on our love in our relationships. This is a wonderful thing to do, but when you think about all the different places where love is lacking, you might feel inclined to take this day and spread your love a little further. A lot of people volunteer at Christmas, but Valentine’s Day is just as fitting and you will both feel so good about yourselves sharing the experience of giving. Some ways you could spread the love could be:-

  • Spending the money you would spend on gifts for each other on food for a local food bank, on blankets for a local dogs home, or as a donation to your favorite charity
  • Spending an afternoon volunteering at your local dogs home
  • Spending the morning chatting to local elderly people who may have lost their significant other/s
  • Gifting a hot breakfast to a homeless person
  • Buying a Big Issue
  • Spending some time with a single friend you know gets down in the dumps during this holiday
  • Cheering up somebody you know who is spending this Valentine’s Day alone for the first time in a long time
  • Volunteering at a charity shop for the day

In a world that seems to be so full of hate, why not share the love? Use this charity database to find a charity near you.

Hopefully, these Valentine’s Day ideas have given you some inspiration so that you can have the most incredible 14th February this year. Whether you’re feeding each other, walking dogs without a home or excitedly planning your next adventure together, just remember to enjoy yourself, as there is never a bad reason to celebrate and share the gift of love.

Putting Together The Perfect Birthday For The Daddy Of The House

If you’re a parent, then every birthday should be a particularly big day. It’s like mother’s day or father’s day. It’s your opportunity to let go of the reins (almost) entirely for a day. So when daddy’s birthday comes around, you want to make it special. There are a lot of ways to do that, too. Taking the time to celebrate someone is part of a stronger marriage and a strong family. If you’re lucky, you also get to set the precedent for you to get the return treatment in future.

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The gift

Let’s start with the choice that will have most women painfully deliberating for the longest time. The kind of gift you’re going to get him. I find that the best answer is to get him two (at least). Not only to spoil him as much as you can justifiably afford. But to avoid some of the common traps. The most common being that you might sometimes only go for the style or practical gifts. A man might love a pair of cufflinks or a pair of BBQ tongs. But you should aim to surprise him with something that shows a little more passion. Even if it’s not tremendously valuable. Simple, fun gifts like a funny mug can add just a bit of silliness that a celebratory day needs.

Show him you care

Physical gifts aren’t the only way to make a man’s day really special, either. Try giving the gift of your appreciation as well. Put your feelings in written form. Make him breakfast in bed and attach a love letter of your own. Take time writing it so you have enough space to mull it over before delivering it. Make it warm. Make it romantic, if you like. Add some points of why you’re grateful to have him. You can get your kids to write letters for him as to why they love their dad so much, too. Even the gruffest bear of a man can have his heart cracked open by those.

Get all his friends around for a party

A surprise party is a more traditional idea, but it can still be a great way to make his birthday special. It gives him the opportunity to take a load off and enjoy the company of those he cares about. He gets the bonus of not having to help you plan. Make it festive and family friendly so your kids can enjoy it, too. Just make sure the kids have their space for food so they’re not jostling with hungry adults. Throw up some personalised banners with a funny message for him or a heartfelt declaration. This idea will keep you busy for quite some time, but it’s worth it for him.

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Take him out for lunch

Perhaps you want a bit of festivity but a bit less fuss? It’s entirely possible that your man isn’t the kind of person for a big birthday party. If that’s the case, give it a miss. There’s no worse birthday present than having to be somewhere you don’t want to be. Instead, how about you all go out for a nice family lunch? It can be somewhere fancy or somewhere fun like TGI Fridays. Make it one your kids can join you for (fighting desperately to keep them on their best behaviour). This way, it takes away a lot of the effort of organisation and gives you more energy to spend on the family.

Make some alone time

You might want to make the family meal a lunch because you could just as easily keep the evening for yourself. Hire a babysitter for one night or ask a member of the family help out. Be the one to set up the perfect date night. Don’t go for the usual candlelit dinner, however. Think outside the box. It can be as simple as taking an evening stroll down the beach and stopping off for a hot dog after. Take him to a movie of his choice. Take a boat out onto the nearby lake and have a drink on it. You can even get competitive and take him to the arcade. Add a bit of spontaneity to the date and his birthday. There are plenty of man-approved dates out there for inspiration.

Make your own gift

If you really want to surprise him, why not go the extra mile and make him a gift of your own? Like a scrapbook, collecting all your favourite photos and memorabilia from throughout the years. Or something that he could really use like, for example, you. A bit of a rising trend and a really fun idea is the creation of DIY Love coupons you can give to your partner. You can give him a coupon book that’s full of all kinds of favours he can redeem at any time. It can be sweet and romantic like giving him a leg massage. It can be purely helpful like giving him half-a-day off from taking care of the kids. We’ll let you think of those examples yourself.

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Hit the road

Your ideas for a birthday celebration don’t have to be so pedestrian either. Particularly if his birthday falls on a weekend, it can be a great idea to take that weekend and just run with it. Take him on a road trip and have an adventure with the kids. Plan an itinerary beforehand and put together all the stuff he will need to have packed in advance. You can surprise him with it if it’s clear he has no plans. There are a lot of routes to explore. Hit up some strange, funny little museums. See some gorgeous landscapes. If you’re in the south of England, for example, try hitting up Bath. A gorgeous old fashioned town and a really romantic spot.

Get out in the wilderness

If spending two-thirds of the day on the road isn’t his idea of fun, however, you can just as easily set up camp and enjoy a bit of peace in one location. A lot of guys love camping trips. They get to set up the tent and create fire, eat as much barbecue as they like and have a beer under the stars. For a really great family trip, you want to hit up some of the more varied national parks like the Lake District. You can go hiking, fishing, have a fun little wildlife spotting game. The wilderness has a certain ability to give you the kind of relaxing experience you wish most family holidays would be. Fishing is a hobby that a lot of men enjoy, and to make his birthday extra special on your trip, consider purchasing a fishing rod from Total Fishing Tackle for an extra element of surprise; it will keep him quiet for hours!

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Get the kids out of the house

You don’t have to go anywhere at all, either. But for this idea, you don’t want the kids around to spoil it. We’re talking about having a romantic night in. About having little else to focus on than each other’s company. Sometimes all you need is a break. Sitting down with him, a bowl of popcorn and a movie is a great way to have one. Just make sure you have the kind of romantic film that men actually like. Sure, you may be using his birthday to have a small break from being a mum. But he’s having a break from being the dad, too, so it’s fair. Family life doesn’t give you enough opportunities to simply enjoy the company of the person you fell in love with. So make the opportunity yourself. 

Let him go wild for the night

There’s another way to let him enjoy his birthday, as well. Take a hands-off approach. Giving him the night to go crazy with his guy friends isn’t putting distance between you or being a bad birthday planner. You can still find plenty of ways to have family time in the day. The truth is, however, that sometimes guys just like to cut loose with their friends. To shake off the conservative role of husband and father for a night. The role of the family is constraining on everyone sometimes. Both he and you need nights off from it. So give him a night to get in touch with his inner caveman and sit around a fire with his mates or whatever it is they do.

Get out of your comfort zone

If you two absolutely want to spend some time together, then why not do it by shaking off those conservative roles together? It might be you going to a sports match with him or indulging in his hobby. Or trying out a new hobby together. Neither of you have been fishing? Go for it! Break the mould and try something new together. If he enjoys it, you’ve done a good job. If neither of you enjoy it, at least you can make fun of it together. The point is to just add a bit of a new experience and some excitement to the day.

The above ideas have hopefully planted some inspiration in your head for a great birthday for the daddy of the house. You can stick to one or mix and match. Keep coming back to this list every year. Each new birthday can have a lovely new surprise for the daddy of the house.

 

6 Gifts For Sporty Men

sporty menChoosing gifts for men can become increasingly difficult for us women. We finally choose the perfect present and then, before we know it, another gift-giving event comes around and we need to try and find another present that we think they will love.

Before you let the situation stress you out and spend countless hours running around the shops, take a few minutes to think about what the man you are buying for really loves – because then you can’t go far wrong. Is he sporty, for example? There are a wide variety of gift ideas for men with a sporting passion. Here are six ideas that they are guaranteed to love almost as much as they love their team.

1. A subscription to a sporty magazine

Whether the man in your life is a fan of golf, a lover of football or he is more in to cycling – there are magazines to cover them all. Plus, keeping on top of their game is important so a subscription means that they can catch up of the news and events surrounding their sport each month, when it lands on their doorstep.

2. A stadium tour

Your sporty man has probably been to see his team play a number of times but, has he ever been behind the scenes of the stadium? Whether he is cheering for Chelsea, mad for Man Utd or loving Liverpool, a tour will enable him to walk in the footsteps of his idols as he see the stadium from a different view.

3. Sporting essentials

Sports teams update their kit all the time. If the shirt he is wearing is ‘so last season’ then make his day with his team’s most up-to-date shirt! Likewise, he might spend much of his free time playing his sport, but does he have all the items that he needs to do so? Perhaps a new bag for his football boots, wet weather gear for a rainy day on the golf course, or a slogan t-shirt that expresses his love for the sport?

4. Personalised memorabilia

A personalised present is always thoughtful and unique, couple this with memorabilia from their favourite sport and you are on to a winner. How about a personalised dressing room mug, an image that puts them in the frame alongside their favourite players, or the ball of their sport with their name engraved on it.

5. A sporty day out

A day out is the perfect way to spend quality time with the man in your life…plan this around a sporty event – and you have the ideal present. This could be anything from a day playing Zorb Football, a round of golf or something a bit out of the ordinary – such as surfing, archery or coasteering.

6. A novelty sports gift

If you are just looking for a token gift for an acquaintance then you might want to consider a novelty sports gift. There are plenty of quirky presents for sports fans, which blend their love of sport with everyday gifts – chocolate footballs, sport cufflinks, or a sporty print for the home, perhaps.

You definitely won’t receive a red card for these gifts!

Wedding Bells – Part One

“I haven’t married the woman I want to live with; she’s the woman I can’t live my life without”

Husband and I have been together for six and a half years, and in that time we’ve only been to one wedding…until this week when we have two to attend in the space of five days! Yesterday was the big day for our friends Sam and Alex. They’ve been together a similar sort of time to Husband and I and have a son who is about nine months older than Sausage – in fact they’ll both be starting school this September.

It was a rare day for Husband and I because it was a ‘no kids except for close family’ wedding, although for a while it looked as though we didn’t have childcare and the happy couple kindly offered to sort out an extra place for Sausage so we could bring her along, but we managed to rope her Nan in at the last minute, so all was well.

The ceremony was held in Holy Trinity church in Rayleigh, which was originally built in Norman times and has been renovated and updated over the last couple of hundred years, and although I’m not religious I thought the setting was beautiful. The church was just the right size for the ceremony to feel intimate and personal and the vicar who performed was affable and comical. He encouraged Sam and Alex, as well as the rest of the congregated friends and family, not to ‘give and take’ in a relationship but to ‘give and give’, which is a lovely message.

I didn’t take any tissues with me as obviously I’m not the sort of sap who cries at a wedding….until about three seconds into the ceremony when Sam, who looked simply stunning in her gown which was made of about a billion layers of tulle, walked down the aisle accompanied by her eldest son, who gave her away, followed by her gorgeous bridesmaids, her daughter who looked like a miniature of her Mummy, and their youngest son who looked so scrumptious that I wanted to pick him up and squeeze him harder than is probably healthy!

The ceremony was beautiful, a mixture of traditional hymns and contemporary music; while we were seated in the church we were pleased to hear mine and Husband’s favourite song played by a string quartet, but to be honest both the bride and the groom are heavily into music so we knew there’d be good tunes. The whole thing went without a hitch, although, Alex later told us that at the rehearsal last week, when the Vicar got to the “any reason why they should not be joined in Holy Matrimony” part, Sam’s eldest son shouted “YES, BECAUSE HE BEATS ME!”, which Husband and I found hilarious, but obviously had Sam and Alex holding their breath during this part of the real ceremony!

After they official pronouncement of ‘Husband and Wife’ was made and the signing of the register taken care of, it was off to Lords Golf Club for pre-dinner drinks and canapés, and some relaxing on the deck while the photos were taken. There was a lovely man tinkling the ivories with a mixture of contemporary hits and classical tunes, as well as a magician who really helped people to relax into the festivities. It was a really nice way to loosen up, chat to people before the meal and generally get into the swing of things. Obviously, the Pimms, Buck’s Fizz and mozzarella sticks helped a lot, too!

The golf club provided a really nice backdrop for the photos, with the greens, lakes and huge weeping willows and watching Sam and Alex interacting with each other and their family was a privilege – Husband and I commented on more than one occasion about how happy they all looked together. Of course they were happy, it was their wedding day, but it was deeper than that. There’s a closeness and bond between not just the Bride and Groom but between their three kids, Alex’s mum, brother and sister and their closest friends that just shone out and made everyone present realise that love is about more than just two people.

The meal was just A. MAZING. The starter was a rustic pâté with a tomato chutney and a green salad which was just so yum, I could have eaten it twice. I’m glad I didn’t, however, because the frigging HUGE lamb shank that I was presented with for my main almost beat me. Almost. It’s not often that I find a meal that’s too big for me to finish and if I’m honest I polished this off out of stubbornness and not wanting to waste such delicious food! Dessert was a lemon tart with cream, which was just perfect after such a hearty main. The speeches came next and ranged from the touching (the quote above is from the Groom’s speech and it got an ‘AWWWW!” from the whole room!) to the tear jerking (Alex sadly lost his Dad five years ago to the day and his Grandad a year ago and I don’t think there was a dry eye in the house when his Mum told us how proud they’d both be of him) to the downright hilarious (Alex’s brother’s Best Man speech had just the right amount of smut, innuendo and ridicule, without being too naughty and had the whole room in stitches. I heard several people say that it was the best Best Man’s speech they’d ever heard).

Once dinner was finished, we went back down to the deck for drinks while the main room was prepared for the evening’s festivities and a chance to cool off and chat for a while was brilliant. Everyone was well and truly loosened up by this point which was great as the evening guests started to arrive, the band kicked off in the main room and we watched Sam and Alex take their first dance as man and wife. I must say, the band they chose were absolutely brilliant. A mix of new rock and old party classics, they got the tone of the day completely spot on and were really slick and professional.

Sadly, as Sausage had been with Nanny for about 10 hours, we had to say our goodbyes before the end of the party (although, I must give a nod to the buffet which came out just before we left. Mini burgers and Yorkshire puddings filled with beef and chutney? GENIUS!), but Husband and I had SUCH a great day, catching up with old friends, making some new ones and just generally sharing the love that exudes from Mr. and Mrs. Bakonyvari (the Master of Ceremonies managed to cock-up the pronunciation of their name EVERY SINGLE TIME – apart from once, when his microphone decided to fail, which raised a huge laugh!) and their family. We’d like to thank them for such a wonderful day and feel genuinely lucky to have been able to share it with them, and want to wish them a long and happy marriage, filled with love and luck.

xoxo

Tarberts Meats Review – Mr. Mum’s the Word SPEAKS!

I’m so very excited to have for you a review, done by my gorgeous Husband, of some meat that we were sent by Tarberts Fine Foods, so without further ado here’s what he thought:

I’m a carnivore. There, I said it. I’m one of the people that militant vegetarians dislike. I love meat.

I love vegetables, fruit, nuts, seeds and all that other stuff that’s good for me too, but deep, deep down I like nothing more than tucking into a thick sandwich, full of roast beef and horseradish sauce and washing it down with a glass of beer (or the odd splash of wine if I’m feeling cosmopolitan).

With that in mind, you can imagine my response when my wife approached me and asked me to trough my way through a hamper of quality cold-cuts, take notes, and wax lyrical about the process!

The cold-cuts in question were provided by Tarbert Fine Foods, and we were very pleased to receive a nice selection, including topside of beef, butter basted chicken, heather honey ham and (the wee one’s favourite) ham with Arran mustard, with a mind to offering an informed opinion in the run-up to Christmas.

The first part was easy. The eating.

I happily sat, and with the help of my beautiful assistant (my daughter) munched my way through sandwiches, rolls, baps, bagels, salads and even a nice omelette. The quality of the produce was universally excellent. All the meat that Tarbert’s sell comes from specially selected Scottish sources and, well, it shows.

But once we had completed the fun part I began to agonise – how do you review meat?

I didn’t want to chuck a lot of garbled clichés onto my lovely wife’s blog, and hope that it passed for writing. So I decided that the only way to give you a fair, accurate representation of the produce would be for me to ask my lovely, precocious and delightfully blunt daughter to give me her opinions, and here they are!

Daughter – “It was yummy! Can I have some more, please?!”

Me – “All of it? Was it all yummy? Come on, be scientific!”

Daughter – “Can I have some more please, Daddy?”

Me – “No. You’ll go pop!”

Daughter – “But Ponyo eats lots of ham and she’s magic!”

Me – “Yes, but..erm…it’s, she’s..”

And at that point I gave up, slapped myself on the forehead and shelved the idea in favour of being honest and less lazy.

The meat tasted like it was freshly carved, and when you’re used to grabbing a Dairy Lea Dunker and a soggy sandwich full of ‘wafer thin ham’ on your down time you notice things like that.

The heather honey ham made a fantastic meal, served with nothing more than a couple of fried eggs and a plain green salad, and it was something that even I, the worst chef in the world, could knock together in a trice.

The cuts of beef were superb too. They weren’t dry, but moist and succulent and went down a treat with some English mustard (or a dollop of ketchup in the wee one’s case).

But then, all of it was fantastic. It’s high quality, fresh tasting food that is directly comparable to something you’d buy from your local quality butcher or deli counter, and the fact that it’s pre-packed means you can rely on it lasting a while.

In all honesty my ‘review’ could have been one sentence:

“It’s good, old fashioned, nice tasting meat and I recommend you go out, buy some and eat it at once.”

Wouldn’t that have been better?

Living with an Insomniac.

You know how most of us muddle through life, not giving a second thought to our daily to-ings and fro-ings, unaware that the things that have become normality to us are, in reality, quite  random and out of the ordinary?

I had two wake up calls recently (if you’ll pardon the unintended pun) which made me realise that my life is out-of-the ordinary.

The first was a conversation with my husband in which we calculated that we spend an average of 4 hours a week (if we’re lucky) actually asleep in the same bed.

The second was a moment ago, when I set an alarm clock for my husband so that he can be up in time for a meeting, only have my alarm tell me “Your alarm has been set to go off in 3 hours and 14 minutes”. And it struck me. That’s it. That is my Husbands whole nights sleep.

From what I’ve been told, he’s been like it since he was a baby. I’ve spoken to his Mum about it and she recalls many a night spent in Husband’s bedroom, trying desperately to wear him out, whilst feeling as though she needed matchsticks for her own eyelids.

And he’s tried to ‘cure’ it, he’s tried the sleeping tablets and many methods of turning his body clock around. But nothing seems to work. I’ve seen it, I’ve seen the look of desperation in his eyes when he’s been awake for 48 hours straight and his body just will not allow him to slip into that sweet, deep, uninterrupted sleep that he so desperately craves. I’ve seen the mental anguish it causes him, on days like today, when he needs to function but is only able to squeeze in 3 hours of sleep.

Three hours is a nap to most of us. I’ll admit it, I’m one of those lucky fuckers who could sleep on a washing line. I mean literally, I have fallen asleep, standing up on a busy, and bumpy, train in the past. Sleep has never eluded me in the way it does for Husband, and on some days, if Sausage has an afternoon nap, I’m lucky enough to supplement my 8 hour nightly sleep with a two or three hour nap of my own.

And it has other knock on effects too. Husband is lucky enough to have a job which means he can work around his sleeping pattern, or lack of, which means that he can do a job and spend plenty of time interacting and spending time with Sausage. But there are times when the three of us are like ships passing in the night. And I can’t imagine how that must feel, it would break my heart to miss out on time with Sausage because I was being held prisoner by my body.

The other issue is that people’s perceptions of insomnia can be totally warped. We have an agreement that if I answer Husband’s phone during the day while he’s asleep, I don’t let on that he’s in bed, because when a person sleeps during the day, it’s generally understood that they’re either a baby, an octogenarian or a lazy so-and-so. And Husband doesn’t fall into the first two, so he must be the latter, right? But how can you explain, no, he’s not lazy, he’s been awake since this time yesterday and his brain has finally decided that it will switch off for a little while.

Then, you’ve got the added annoyance of other people. During the day, Husband is fully accepting and understanding of the fact that we have a two-year-old, and it is IMPOSSIBLE to keep a two-year-old quiet. But, because we don’t live on a homestead in Alaska, we live in a busy suburb, there is and always will be, noise during the day. We thought we’d cracked it by switching bedrooms so that our room wasn’t at the front of the house, thus removing any car noise (and moving further away from the opposite neighbour who insists on having the loudest, bassiest music blaring every second he’s in the car, including the five minutes he takes to warm his car up on his drive in the mornings).

The trouble is, we’ve now come to the conclusion that our new bedroom is attatched to our next door neighbours utility room. And I wouldn’t mind so much, but we live in a detached house and their ‘utility room’ is a seemingly illegal extension which joins right up to the boundaries of our house. But you can’t ask people to be quiet, in their own homes, during the day, can you?
And so, we plod on with our lives, unaware of the differences until something reminds us.

At the moment, I’m on a three night stretch of sleeping on my own. But it’s okay. If I’m not sharing a bed with my husband, then I mostly get to share a bed with a snoring, farting 60lb dog. But he does give great snuggles!

I’d love to hear about your ‘alternative lifestyles’, if anything, just to make myself feel a little better!