3 articles Tag Gay

Why I Don’t Care if Ellen Page is Gay

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I became aware of Ellen Page back in about 2006, when Husband told me about this film he’d watched where a young woman entrapped and brutalised a paedophile, mostly for shits and giggles, which had an awesome actress playing the lead role. If you’re aware of Hard Candy, you’ll know that a young Ellen Page gave a performance which was as convincing as it was memorable and if you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it.

Skip forward a couple of years; Husband and a very pregnant me sat and watched Juno, a film which handled the issue of teen pregnancy with a grace that had never been seen before. Here, we were faced with a young woman who, while on the surface may have been a bit off-beat, was conscious and uncompromising in her decision about what to do with the life of the child that she knew, ultimately, she wasn’t ready for. Juno was a kid who fucked up, had an accident, did what so many others do, but the way she dealt with it (and the space and respect that her parents showed her in dealing with it) reflected what a kid can really do, under such enormous pressure. I cannot imagine anyone else playing that role.

Over the years, I’ve enjoyed watching Ellen in various films, such as Inception, X-Men, The East and Whip It (a particular favourite which has made me desperately want to learn to skate so I can try roller derby!) and I can honestly say I don’t think she’s made a bad choice or put in a bad performance.

Aside from her impressive career, she seems to be a pretty impressive person, too. Away from the spotlight, the (self-confessed) “tiny Canadian” has involved herself with various humanitarian issues, such as campaigning to end the military dictatorship in Myanmar, Burma and also appealing for The New York City Food Bank.

Of course, there’s long been speculation as to her sexuality. Her ‘conspicuous’ lack of male escort at various award ceremonies never fails to set tongues wagging and her graceful but slightly awkward avoidance about whether she ever had a crush on Leonardo DiCaprio in various press junkets leading up to the release of Inception caused even more hyperbole (although, quite why anyone thinks that’s an appropriate question of a professional actor, I don’t know. Would it ever have been asked of a man?!).

Ellen’s self-outing was delivered at the Human Rights Campaigns Time to THRIVE conference, where she decided to use her personal life, and effectively sacrifice her well-protected privacy, to campaign for the safety and well-being of other gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people across the globe. She’s unleashed her truth in the most conscientious way possible, in a way that doesn’t benefit her, but will hopefully help millions of other people across the globe. She says she’s “tired of lying by omission” and hopes that her coming out will help others to have the strength to be open about their sexuality, too.

So, while the title of this post may come across as slightly glib, I really do mean it. I adore this young woman and everything she stands for. As a mother to (almost) two girls, I feel that I can breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that there are women like her out there, setting an example of strength and selflessness and showing that above all else, being yourself is the best thing you can possibly be.

Who Ellen Page chooses to fall in love with is of absolutely ZERO consequence to anyone but herself and her chosen partner and what I hope is that we can start to end the process of defining people by their sexuality. It simply does not matter whether a person is gay or straight or any of the other shades of the Rainbow. What matters is how they choose to live their life and the way they treat others around them. Of course, I believe people should be proud of who they are, and their sexuality, to an extent, factors into the person as a whole, but there’s so much more to everyone than that one small factor.

Anyway, its 4.16am, I’m sitting in a darkened maternity ward and probably rambling somewhat now, but I wanted to get my thoughts on the page and say that I wish Ellen a lifetime of happiness and love.

That’s all. 

The Best Thing To Ever Happen in Waitrose.

I don’t know about you, but I have a very set idea of the four types of people who shop in Waitrose:

1. Old people. Old, grumpy, usually snobby people who tend to be myopic enough to accidentally (on purpose) try to run you over in their Rovers.

2. Married couples in their late thirties through to late middle age who are probably quite affluent and tend to buy things like expensive wine, bags of salad and expensive pate.

3. Women in their early thirties who have married rich men, who are dolled-up to the nines to do their weekly shop and usually have a couple of kids in tow, who are without exception, really badly behaved.

4. ‘Normal’ people like us, probably not rich enough to do a weeks shop in there and tend to walk around looking slightly bewildered about why their beans cost twice as much in here as they do in Tesco.

Unfortunately, Waitrose is our closest supermarket and when we’re between big shops, we have to go there to stock up on bits, but the other day I had such an awesome moment in there.

I was in the washing aisle and was perusing the washing up liquids. Some of the Waitrose own brand ones have very exotic sounding scents and I said to Husband “Oh these sound nice…then again, I don’t know why I allow myself to get drawn into these, I only end up going right back to Fairy”.

At this moment, a very well dressed man in a baker-boy hat and expensive looking jeans sidled up to us and said “You know, I’m rather partial to a fairy myself” only to smirk and glide away with his trolley!

Such a minute thing, but’s it’s tickled me ever since, every time I think about it. I won’t go too deep into the whole thing, but more than anything I was absolutely made up that in a world, nay, a shop of extreme prejudice, someone can be that secure in himself to just make a joke with a random stranger. That’s the kind of world I want to live in.

A little perspective, please?

Gay is OKI’ve just been reading Angie’s post over at ‘A Whole Lot of Nothing’ and I wanted to write a post about it, because I honestly couldn’t agree more.

I think in this day and age it’s absolutely ASTOUNDING that people still take issue with others because of their sexuality. You can quote all the bible passages at me you like, but I will say this. For every quote ‘condemning’ homosexuality, there is another which says that God loves EVERYONE:

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.

John 3:16

See? WHOSOEVER. Not “whosoever, but only those who love the opposite sex.” Whosoever chooses to believe in God, be it Adam and Eve, or Adam and Steve.

And for all those obedient Christians out there, let’s not forget:

“Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned, forgive, and ye shall be forgiven.”

~Luke 6:37~

But, you know what? I’m not even religious, I don’t go to church, I don’t know the Bible by heart, I just keep an open mind.

Another point I’d like to make is this: WHAT FUCKING DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?

Honestly. What difference does it make to how a person can do their job/parent a child/teach a class, who they go home to and choose to share a bed with?

‘Cause here’s the thing: I DON’T CARE. Honestly, I don’t care. I’m just as disinterested in gay couples as I am in straight couples. It has no impact on my life whatsoever.

I cannot, just cannot understand how people get angry enough about another persons sexuality to actually resort to acts of anger and violence.

And don’t even get me started on the holy-rolling deniers who think that a person can be ‘cured’ of homosexuality. Why on earth would a person CHOOSE to be homosexual if they weren’t? I can imagine many people FORCING themselves into homosexuality if they weren’t 100% sure that it felt right.

And this is what I intend to teach my daughter. I will teach her that being gay doesn’t make you different, it doesn’t mean you are sinful or wrong, and it most certainly doesn’t mean that you will spend eternity burning in the fiery pits of hell.

Because, really, shouldn’t we just focus on the fact that it’s not just about sex, or lifestyle, or adversity?

It’s about love.

And whoever you love is cool with me.

*UPDATE*

There’s been a lot of furore in the media recently surrounding various countries and US states, and their attitude toward equal marriage.

What I say is this: for a long time, we’ve been fed the image that gay men are promiscuous and don’t have long term marriages. Men want to sow their wild oats, so two men in a relationship couldn’t possibly be monogamous, right? It’s easier for people to think like this.

Anthropologically speaking, yes, all men are programmed to have much sex as they can to perpetuate their genetic line. By the same token, women stayed in the cave and bore children. Is this still the case? Why is it so hard for people to believe that things have evolved since then? That not only is it possible for two men or two women to love each other, but they might want the same thing that most other humans want; lifelong companionship and love.

This is no longer a gay issue, a straight issue, a religious issue or a family issue…this is a HUMAN issue and continuing to deny loving couples, no matter their structure, is an embarrassment to the human race.