2 articles Tag daughter

International Women’s Day – A Letter to My Daughter

To My Darling Daughter,

It seems only fitting to me that on International Women’s Day I should write to you, the single most important female in my life. You will, one day, be a woman and I hope that you have daughters too, for having a daughter has been the single most rewarding experience of my life.

You are my world.

I cannot express my gratitude at being blessed with a daughter who has the kindest heart of anyone I have ever met, a daughter who carries the weight of the world with her and wants to make it all better. Seeing the sadness in your eyes when you think of those less fortunate than yourself breaks my heart and mends it all at once when I see your determination to make a difference to the world. Quite remarkable for someone of less than five years old.

You have filled my world with laughter, happiness, dancing, art, singing, stubbornness, worry, frustration, wonder, joy, sadness. You make me feel in a world that is so often numbed by external forcesand for that I cannot thank you enough.

It’s my job, as a mother and a woman to make sure that you know certain things and while I may not know everything just yet, my 28 years of life have taught me the following:

Never allow yourself to feel owned by anyone or anything. You belong to you and you alone. Always take the time to find joy in the smallest things. The light of the moon, the miracles of nature, a smutty joke. It’s all good. You can be anything you want to be. Your Dad and I will always be here for you. We’re your biggest fans and you are our single greatest love. Beauty is whatever you want it to be and you can see it everywhere if you only look hard enough. Friends are important. Never take anything for granted. Be happy. 

As a woman, you may find that you’re underestimated of overlooked. Being underestimated is just fine. Enjoy the look on people’s faces when it dawns on them that you are SO much more than they expected you to be. Being overlooked is not good. Kick and scream until you get the recognition you deserve.

Forget the labels. Be it the ones in your dress or the ones people put on you. They don’t matter. All that matters is that you have total agency over yourself and your body. Keep it that way.

There are no ifs and buts when it comes to love. Your Dad and and I met and married within 6 months, despite everyone’s objections. Our mantra is “when you know, you just know”. It’s a good thing to remember.

I can only hope, as a woman speaking to someone who will one day be one, that I’ve done a good job, raised you with confidence, intelligence, empathy and grace.

Trust me kid, you’re going to need those things to make it in this world.

Love, Ma xxxx

 

The Little Things.

As parents and bloggers we all share those monumental moments with each other, the holidays, the developmental milestones like first steps and first days at school. But we often forget about the little things, the times that really mean something to us. I gave Sausage a bath this afternoon, and as I was brushing and drying her hair it hit me just how much I enjoy doing these small things. Sausage has a lot of hair and it’s getting very long and taking care of it has become a real bonding experience for us. She’s become a pro at leaning back in the bath or shower so that no shampoo goes in her eyes when I rinse it off, and since I’ve started dusing a little conditioner on it the tangles are minimal. She doesn’t even mind the hair dryer too much now so what was, six months ago, a shouting, writhing, wriggling, wholly unpleasant experience for all involved has turned into something that mother and daughter can share and enjoy.

Silly really, to wax lyrical to this extent about washing my kid’s hair, but if the past fortnight has taught me anything, it’s that we need to enjoy every possible moment while you can. Don’t take anything for granted.

We’ve recently discovered Julia Donaldson’s books and Husband, Sausage and I have developed a bit of a ritual of sitting on the sofa most evenings, Daddy reading one book and then me reading another. Sitting together, enjoying a story and getting lost in the rhyme and rhythm of a good book is exactly what we seem to need, as a family. It goes to show that, while day trips and holidays are fun and important, for the princely sum of a couple of quid per book, we have enjoyed countless hours together. Plus, Sausage’s reading is coming along leaps and bounds, which is an added bonus.

I guess you could say that I’m swinging between the ever pressing need to SEE THINGS and DO THINGS before I no longer have the chance to see and do, and spending time enjoying the small things and taking things slowly. Who knows which is the right way to do things? All I know is, my outlook and my priorities seem forever changed, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.