2 articles Tag Conservatives

NO MORE TOREEN! An Alternative Malt Loaf Recipe by Mummy Pat

malt loafMy friend Sarah is awesome. I’ve known her since I was 11, when we were united through a shared love of Friends and Oasis and although we rarely see each other, she’s one of the people I’d really miss if I ever did the unthinkable and quit Facebook. Amazingly, she seems to be one of only a small bunch of girls from our school who is a dyed-in-the-wool Leftie, although not really that amazingly since we went to a particularly snotty all-girls grammar school, populated mostly by girls from upper-middle-class-pull-the-ladder-up-behind-you types. Also, not all that amazingly because Sarah was raised by her Mum, Pat, who is about as awesome and righteous as it gets and so she was bound to turn out pretty bloody brilliant.

Since the news broke that the Tories would be dictating to us all again for the next 5 years, it’s become apparent that there are several brands who are big donors to the Conservative party and now loads of people have decided to boycott those brands, one of which being Soreen, as revealed in an article in The Mirror a couple of months ago.

Anyway, being the super amazing lady that she is, Mummy Pat has decided that she won’t be buying oppressive patriarchal malt loaf anymore and has allowed me to share her recipe for homemade malt loaf which, as a bonus, won’t try to strip you of your human rights. Here’s the recipe:

5.0 from 1 reviews
Mummy Pat's Amazing Tory-Free Malt Loaf
 
Prep time
Cook time
Total time
 
Author:
Recipe type: Baking
Serves: Depends how thick you cut it!
Ingredients
  • 1 MUG ALL BRAN
  • 1 MUG SULTANAS
  • 1 MUG SUGAR
  • 1 MUG MILK
  • 1 EGG
  • 1 TEASPOON MIXED SPICE
Instructions
  1. Add all of the ingredients to a LARGE bowl as the mixture swells
  2. Leave overnight, covered with a plate or tea towel
  3. When ready to cook, place mixture in a lined loaf tin
  4. Cook in the centre of an oven, preheated to gas mark 3/140 Fan Oven/160 Conventional Oven for around 1 hour and 15 minutes, or until a knife comes out clean when poked into the middle
  5. Leave to cool and enjoy with lashings and lashings of butter

Eat and enjoy, safe in the knowledge that you won’t be contributing to the Tory coffers! Thanks Pat!

The NHS and Me

I’ve got a bit of a tumultuous past with the NHS. When I was 6 I contracted meningococcal septicaemia, my Mum rushed me to our local hospital who sent me home with a diagnosis of a chest infection. It wasn’t until I started to become worryingly ill and Mum took me to a different A&E  that it was finally recognised and I got much needed treatment, but it was touch and go for a while and I still have lasting effects of the disease now.

If you look at my medical history, there’s a long line of medical cock-ups followed by relief and resolution and if I’m honest, I’m rather jaded when it comes to my health. I find it hard to sit back and accept diagnoses of ‘we just don’t know’ as I’ve been fobbed off on so many occasions and the less said about the birth of Sausage the better as it’s a veritable catalogue of errors.

But let’s look at this from the flipside.

What about the doctor who DID diagnose my meningitis, before it was too late? What about the nurse who laid on me to keep me still while I had my lumbar puncture? What about the surgeon who made my caesarean incision at 9.16pm and birthed Sausage at 9.17pm? What about the doctors who have helped my various friends and family, brought them back to health or made their last days comfortable?

The reason I’m thinking about all of this is that I was in hospital yesterday. Sausage and I went to the supermarket in the morning and I started to feel extremely nauseous on the way there so we rushed into the loos when we got there and I proceeded to vomit up what seemed like quite a lot of blood. Being the dickhead I am, I finished my shopping and came home to put a stew on to cook before very calmly telling Husband that I needed to go to the hospital.

I took myself off to A&E and spent five hours there all in all. I could moan about how long it took and I DID could moan about how uncomfortable the seats were but I sat there thinking about a documentary that Sausage, Husband and I watched recently about childbirth which, as a sub-plot, followed a couple who lived in an African country. The lady was heavily pregnant and had to walk for 5 hours to get to the nearest clinic once she went into labour. Once she got to the clinic, there was still no guarantee that her birth would go smoothly as both infant and maternal mortality rates were astonishingly high. She made the journey without complaint and gave birth to a beautiful baby.

All I’m saying is, five hours seems like a long time to wait but I got to do it in a clean, warm room with chairs, have free medical attention including x-rays, blood tests with clean needles and results within the hour. Yes, the NHS is an administrative cluster-fuck at the best of times, but can you imagine life without it? Could you afford comprehensive private healthcare in your family budget?

The fact that our public services are being dismantled before our eyes for the private gain of many a politician is genuinely scary and I dread to think of what will happen to the level of health amongst normal people in the UK. We’re ALL guilty from time to time of moaning about the National Health Service, but I really hate to think of the standard that it’s going to slip to before we all realise just how lucky we were to have it. I wouldn’t mind betting that the number of medical negligence cases will sky-rocket, too.

Except, by then it may just be too late…