4 articles Articles posted in Sausageisms

A Sausage-ism for Mother’s Day

Sausage and I were sharing a joke and laughing together (about bogies, just in case you’re wondering. I never said it was high-brow) and I said to her “Oh, I’m so lucky to have you”, to which she replied:

“And I’m so lucky to have a doggy”.

Oh. Right.

Happy Mother’s Day, one and all! 

The Best Sausageism EVER.

Husband has been working for a new magazine in the USA, which means that his working day starts about half an hour before I get home, so we sometimes (shock, horror!) bridge the gap by sticking the telly on for Sausage until I get in. We’ve got a media server set up so that anything that’s on our PC and external hard drive can be watched wirelessly through our PS3 on the big TV in the lounge. Sausage has got pretty good at navigating her way through the menus and will choose from her huge folder full of Dexter’s Lab box sets and the like.

The other day, I walked up to the door and Husband was waiting for me. He said “Shh, come with me and see what Sausage is watching…”, so I followed him stealthily into the sitting room, where Sausage was watching, and laughing hysterically in all the right places to The Golden Girls; but wait, it gets better…

Sausage suddenly noticed I was behind her and got all excited and said “Mummy, look, I’m watching this programme, it’s soooo funny” then turned round, pointed at Bea Arthur and said “AND LOOK, IT’S GOT A MAN IN IT, DRESSED AS A LADY!!”.

Best. Kid. Ever.

Sausage’s Birthday List

We all know that kids are covetous little creatures, but Sausage has made a seriously early start this year by giving us her birthday list precisely six months early. Some of the items are rather…random, so I thought you lot might like to see what the average 3 and a half year old REALLY wants!

A Hoover
A trampoline
A pink bowl
A party box
A Moxie Girl
A tortoise
A tarantula
A big photo of mummy, daddy, Sausage, Chuck and Happy
A snuggly teddy bear
A BlackBerry
ZingZillas stickers
Perfume
Necklace and bracelet set
Lilo and Stitch and Rugrats Wii game
Ham

Some surprises in there, no?!

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Sausageism of the Day

Husband: “I love you, you smell good”

Sausage: “I love you too…but you smell so bad”