Love

Can I Find Love After A Separation?

The pandemic has taught us a lot about ourselves. But it’s also been a revelation for a lot of couples. Some have seized the opportunities to fall back in love again. Others have discovered with horror that they’d grown too far apart to carry on with their dreams of a happy ever after. It’s no surprise that many relationships have emerged or dissolved during the many periods of lockdown.

Yet, when you’ve spent many years in a long-term relationship with your partner, it can be devastating to consider a separation. Thankfully, a lot of couples who have chosen to go separate ways during the pandemic have managed to do it on friendly terms. So there’s one less thing to stress about as you ask yourself the big question: Will I find love again after a separation?

Can I Find Love After A Separation?

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You are in charge of how you feel

There’s a big difference between finding love and being in a relationship. If you focus too much on finding someone to prove to yourself that you are worthy of love, you may end up settling down for something that doesn’t make you happy. There’s no secret: If you are insecure about it, you’ll struggle to find the confidence to hit the dating scene again, as per a previous article on http://www.mumstheword.me. When you start to find happiness in who you are, you find it easier to follow your heart than your fears. While it doesn’t mean that you can’t do some work on yourself. You may want to get fitter or stronger, and that’s great. However, make sure that you’re doing it for yourself and not to impress your future date. If you let self-esteem issues and self-doubts guide you, they will inevitably encourage a relationship for the wrong reasons. And that’s the last thing you want in your quest for love.

It doesn’t have to be something serious 

Here’s the thing: You may be ready to have fun, but that doesn’t mean you want to jump into the next long-term relationship. When you’ve spent a lot of time in a relationship, sometimes, it’s good to enjoy your time alone before hitting back the dating scene. It’s a fantastic opportunity to figure out what you want and like. And ultimately, it doesn’t hurt to enjoy casual flirting without any engagement before you move onto more serious things. Get back into the flirting game with things such as https://www.freechatlines.com without any expectations. Or you could simply turn to chat-friendly platforms that let you reach out to people and find your voice again. Needless to say, when you’ve been on your best behaviour for years, it can be interesting to find out just how much fun talking to strangers can be.

Using it as an excuse to get back to your ex

Understandably, it’ll take some time to figure out who you are when you’re single again. We tend to define ourselves through our relationships, so it’s fair to say that you’ll have to update your social media presence after the separation. Your future partner will see your social media presence, so it’s about showing your true self rather than trying to get back at your ex.

Hoping for love after a separation is the dream of everyone. More often than not, your approach will be crucial in making room for a new relationship. Self-confidence is a game-changer, in your flirting game, in your worth, and in who you are.

Adulting · Love · Relationships

Lockdown: Keeping Your Relationship Alive

Keeping Your Relationship Alive During LockdownThere’s no denying the fact that lockdown is making things feel pretty bizarre for most of us at the moment. Families are spending more time together than ever, thanks to school closures and isolation measures to protect us all during the coronavirus outbreak, and adult realtionships are being strained in many cases. Between spending 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the same space and the kids being around ALL. THE. TIME, finding time to be intimate is one of the hardest things about “The Current Situation” (as it’s formally known in most households!).

With this in mind, I thought I’d share with you five tips for keeping the spark going in your relationship so that quarantine doesn’t have a negative effect on your intimate life:

Sexting

While whispering sweet nothings might be tricky when you’ve got little ears around all the time (what is with their hearing, as well? They’re like bats, until you mention tidying!), sending your partner a message containing some steamy content is the perfect solution. Install an encrypted app like Signal and reserve it solely for sexting with your other half. As well as helping to build tension, you’ll get a little jolt of excitement every time you see a message from your chosen private app.

Lockdown Lingerie

If you’re aything like us, you’re probably spending most of your time in pyjamas or loungewear, neither of which are known for their sexiness! Why not invest in some sexy lingerie sets from Steamy Genie? Even if you slip them on UNDER your comfies, a glance of something sexy and lacy underneath your flannel P.J.s will let your partner know you’re still thinking about your provate times.

Try to Have a Routine

Okay, so while I’m not suggesting a sex schedule (is there anything less sexy?!), having a proper routine can really help you to find time to be intimate. Lots of the people I know have thrown the normal routine to the wind and the kids are going to bed later, waking up late and not really sticking to any sort of timings. Make sure the kids eat dinner, have a bath and get to bed at a more reasonable time and you’ll find yourselves with much more time to dedicate to each other in the evenings.

Try Something New

I think we can all admit that everything is SO far from normal right now, so instead of bucking against this, why not go with it and try something new during lockdown? We all have those little curiosities that we’ve thought about trying but just haven’t got round to mentioning to our partners – well, there’s never been a better time to try it! Just don’t go TOO crazy, as now is really not the time to end up in A&E with a sex injury!

Tidy Up and Have a Date

We’re all probably quite sick of our surroundings at the moment, and our motivation for housework can be tested when it seems like no sooner do we tidy than the place is a mess again. Work together to get the house back to being spotless and then enjoy the spoils of your labour by having a date night. Cook a meal together, watch a movie and just spend some time enjoying each other, instead of sitting in front of the TV or games console while the other uses their smartphone!

Adulting · Love · Relationships

8 Naughty Places To Use A Remote Vibrator

Most of the time we use our sex toys, such as a shower stroker or a plug, in the bedroom or bathroom. We rarely explore other toys or places beyond these confines. But getting a toy with remote control is convenient and they can unshackle us from the bedroom. These sleek vibrators are discreet and can be controlled from a distance going from a few feet to thousands of miles. Whether it’s regular public play or connecting with a long-distance partner, when you buy a good remote controlled vibrator, you open a world of possibilities.

8 Unlikely Places For Fun With A Remote Vibrator

1. While On A Picnic

Picture this: A nice open field, mmhmm. Laying out a picnic blanket and sitting together mmhmm. Doing all those picnic-y things. A picnic is a fun place to use a remote vibrator. It is also a good place for those who are starting out with public play. The open area or wide fields can afford some privacy for those who want to ease-in into the world of public play.

2. On A Roller Coaster

Adrenaline rushing and the roller coaster going. Thats a combo you never knew you wanted! Crank it up for power and enjoy yourself as you go through the thrill of the roller coaster and a powerful vibrator! Reese Witherspoon did it better, but hey, not all of us get to go on rides with Mark Wahlberg!

3. At The Movie Theater

Dont be afraid of having a bit of fun at the movie theater. A movie with a good background score is ideal to cover the small noise the vibrator is going to make. Its unlikely to be super obvious but be sure to keep the noise in check.

All those hot, romantic scenes in the movie just got all the more hotter and better. It goes without saying be responsible and sensitive to other moviegoers. If you feel as if youre attracting too much attention, stop and let things cool down. Choosing a time when there are fewer cinemagoers around can be super helpful.

4. At Work

You can love your job, but there are still some dull moments. Slogging through the day can get tough if theres not much happening. Or maybe it’s one of those boring meetings where Steve wont stop droning. Time to buzz out into the pleasure zone and have a good time all by yourself. Control the vibrator yourself, or if your partner is anywhere close, let them hold the reins.

Fair warning, this is not for the public play beginner. A misplaced moan, noise, or some other telltale sign could reflect poorly. Discretion and knowing when to start or stop the action are the necessary parts of public play.

5. Did Someone Say A Big Box Store?

Hey, what else am I going to do while looking at the shelves for groceries and random stuff? Getting a remote vibrator into the action makes things fun. Get your partner to control it and youll both have an inside joke while walking the aisles of a big box store. Clicking a few pics can be a good idea for a laugh later. Theres got to be a reason why you were looking so lustily at a bag of chips!

6. Long Distance Action Over The Internet

Lovers separated by distance dont need to lose touch of intimacy. Modern remote vibrators can be controlled over a distance of thousands of miles, so theres a closer sense of intimacy. All this type of vibrators need is that you (and your partner) have smartphones with good internet connectivity.

Connect the vibrator to your phone and app, then share controls with your partner. The sexy times with Skype or FaceTime just got a lot more interesting! A lot of this action is supposed to be in your bedroom, but you can take it to public play as well. Let your long-distance partner control the vibrator while you go about your day. Its fun for a hot time.

Another great option is using paired-play sex toys. In this case, toys connect over the internet and relevant apps. The idea is to have both the toys in sync. So as one toy moves, the other shows a similar response. Its nowhere as good as the real deal, but is a lovely bridge for intimacy over longer distances.

7. Be A Tease On A Date

Who doesnt love a hot date? Let your date know that you have the vibrator on you and youre willing to share. Make them work to get the remote control in their hands and your date will get hotter with anticipation. And that is a powerful aphrodisiac. Mix it up with talking dirty and sexy gestures and you will both find the date getting hotter. Be ready for some hot and steamy action right after the date.

8. At A House Party

How brazen do you want to get? Using a remote vibrator at a house party is that hot, forbidden fruit thats worth the risk. The risk, of course, is letting a vibrator loose in a party full of your close friends, or even family. For a lot of people, the reward for public play gets higher with higher risk, so a house party is worth a shot.

As your friends recount the tales of whatever and go about random gossip, you can make things spicier by having a go at the remote vibrator. Surely everyone will love how you looked so happy while hearing about their little garden or something.

Or, if you want a riskier challenge, take it to Thanksgiving Dinner. Now that should make things more interesting! Few things get the rush going like the brazen irreverence of turning on the vibrator at the Thanksgiving table. Maybe you can tell everyone how thankful you are for remote control vibrators!

Life · Love

Let’s Talk About Love

Valentine’s Day is a bit of a non-starter in our house. Husband and I don’t really believe in having a prescribed day on which to love each other (although the big git always manages to buy me lovely presents for it, even though we say we aren’t going to!) so we don’t do the whole ‘romantic meal’ thing like other couples do, and one of our anniversaries is on 22nd February anyway, so it all feels a bit silly.

The Independent Pharmacy have put together a really interesting infographic to show a whole load of facts relating to love, sex and health, just in time for Valentines Day.
Sex, health, and romance on Valentine's Day.

I’m genuinely shocked that 53% of women would end their relationship if their partner didn’t get them something fancy and proudly count myself not part of this group! I also love the stat about how many babies are conceived on Valentines Day – November must be a really busy time in maternity wards across the land! All of the stats are actually really fascinating from a sociological point of view.

What’s your favourite stat from the infographic? Did any of them really surprise you? Do leave me a comment below, I’d love to hear from you.

Happiness · Love

Cute Valentine’s Day Ideas To Show You Care

51% of women believe the main purpose of Valentine’s Day is to show you care according to a recent survey and quite right to. There’s enough hate and disruption in the world around us, why not take any excuse to show the love? Perhaps you always celebrate 14th February, perhaps you and your partner let it breeze by without so much as a card. Whatever your Valentine’s Day style, these cute Valentine’s Day ideas are sure to shake up your Valentine’s Day traditions and have you smiling about your memory of Valentine’s Day 2017 for years to come.

Spoil Him

Did you know that in some Asian countries Valentine’s Day is focused on the man in the relationship, and the woman has to buy the man presents. According to the same survey, only 41% of men believe Valentine’s Day has a point, but you can convince any man of its purpose with the right approach. Sure a snuggle in the morning might get him a touch more excited about things, but why not spoil him rotten all day? What would he most love to do on Valentine’s Day? Maybe you can set up a gaming den and play his favourite computer games with him for a couple of hours. What about an activity he loves you have always refused to try – surprise him and book both of you in to do it. Maybe he is a big foodie – plan a food tour of your local city, accounting for breakfast, lunch and dinner. You might even want to go Big Bang Theory AKA the Valentine’s episode in season 6, where Amy plans a completely no pressure, no romance evening for Sheldon because she knows he hates Valentine’s Day. Only you know what would tickle his fancy, but he will probably be very surprised to find the focus on him this  February the 14th.

He’s got all of the Valentine’s Days for the rest of your life to spoil you, so why not this year, make it all about him?

Who Doesn’t Love Holidays?

A holiday is the most popular valentine’s day gift or, at least, the most wanted gift anyway. Clinking coconut cocktails on a sunny beach somewhere tropical, sharing a bag of hot chips and a cold can of pop on a blustery UK coastal town, stargazing from a hot tub in a remote lodge as it starts to snow – sigh – even we want a holiday for Valentine’s Day now! Escapism is always a romantic prospect, whatever the occasion, the only problem is, it can be extremely costly to go away for Valentine’s Day because everyone else is.

The solution? Give a holiday for Valentine’s Day. Don’t start remortgaging your house just yet, it doesn’t have to cost the earth. This could be one night in a hotel somewhere a couple of hours drive away, or two weeks somewhere tropical. There is a trip to level out against the amount you usually spend on perfume, flowers and a meal out. This prolongs the joy of Valentine’s Day because it gives you both something to look forward to.

Food Is The Food Of Love

Food, relates all of us because we need it to live and to thrive and everybody has certain dishes they get excited about. Food also brings people together, creates a shared experience and it adds to the occasion and atmosphere of any event. Cooking for your partner, is an age old Valentine’s Day tradition, but, that doesn’t make it irrelevant or dated. If anything, with all the amazing ingredients we have access to, the social media sharing of recipes and presentation and the embracing of taking our diets into our own hands, it is the best time to be cooking and sharing that experience with a loved one. There are endless ways you can share the foodie love with your significant other, here are just a few great ideas:-

  • Make homemade truffles and gift them in a pretty chocolate box. Try out this easy chocolate truffles 4 ways tutorial.
  • Make breakfast in bed complete with naked apron attire, rose and an incredible breakfast spread. This ultimate pancake recipe guide should come in handy.
  • DIY sushi rolls – lay out all the ingredients and then make the rolls together. There’s a lot of fun to be had with chopsticks, sticky rice and a shared experience. This how to make sushi guide is a great starting place.

Why go out for food, when you can have so much more fun at home?

Give Love To Others

On Valentine’s Day we focus on our love in our relationships. This is a wonderful thing to do, but when you think about all the different places where love is lacking, you might feel inclined to take this day and spread your love a little further. A lot of people volunteer at Christmas, but Valentine’s Day is just as fitting and you will both feel so good about yourselves sharing the experience of giving. Some ways you could spread the love could be:-

  • Spending the money you would spend on gifts for each other on food for a local food bank, on blankets for a local dogs home, or as a donation to your favorite charity
  • Spending an afternoon volunteering at your local dogs home
  • Spending the morning chatting to local elderly people who may have lost their significant other/s
  • Gifting a hot breakfast to a homeless person
  • Buying a Big Issue
  • Spending some time with a single friend you know gets down in the dumps during this holiday
  • Cheering up somebody you know who is spending this Valentine’s Day alone for the first time in a long time
  • Volunteering at a charity shop for the day

In a world that seems to be so full of hate, why not share the love? Use this charity database to find a charity near you.

Hopefully, these Valentine’s Day ideas have given you some inspiration so that you can have the most incredible 14th February this year. Whether you’re feeding each other, walking dogs without a home or excitedly planning your next adventure together, just remember to enjoy yourself, as there is never a bad reason to celebrate and share the gift of love.