247 articles Articles posted in Family

It’s Okay to Be Sad: 10 Simple Points That Outline How to Explain Divorce to a Kid

Photo by Kat J on Unsplash

Kids are more resilient than they get credit for. Many of them survive their parents’ divorce with some ease. But, many children are pressed by the incidents leading to the divorce. The divorce finalizes an emotional crisis that children may be less able to manage psychologically.

It’s tough on them. It’s simply confusing, frustrating, and scary for their developing minds. For instance, children need security and being self-concerned as they are, they cannot see what’s in it for them. They may worry about the security of home and hearth or about which parent will have custody.

Children of divorce need to know it’s okay to be sad, but there are ways to help them through the stress.

10 simple points that outline how to explain divorce to a kid:

Psychology Today notes, “Sadness is valid and useful and alerts us to how we need to treat ourselves.” And, that’s an adult understanding, but children don’t have this perspective. The experience of divorce lawyers and counselors has developed some simple points that outline how to explain divorce to a kid.

These strategies would vary with the age of the child, but for our purposes here, we are talking about young children:

  1. Be age-appropriate. Parents must understand to whom they are talking. They should meet with the child personally rather than offloading the conversation to a grandparent or lawyer. They should collaborate on a script and keep it short and direct.
  2. List the child’s needs. The divorce conversation is not about the parents. It is about how the change will affect the kid’s needs. Every child is different and values somethings more than others. Kids might worry about the future of their pet. They may worry about where they will live or what school they will attend. These concerns are selfish on the surface, but they also reflect their fears and insecurities. The kids aren’t after sophisticated answers. They want assurances.
  3. Listen actively. Young children have difficulty expressing their feelings in words. They are more likely to show anger, confusion, and/or tears. So, attentive parents will listen proactively. That means nodding in agreement, summarizing what they say, and reiterating their word choice. Active listening shows respect, leads to better understanding on both parts and clarifies future relationships.
  4. Prepare with patience. The older the child, the more drama surrounds the conversation. The child’s confusion creates many “why” questions. A series of why questions if the child’s way of focusing. They are trying to discover a sensible solution by funneling the responses into an explanation they can appreciate and accept. They are trying to build context once parents have told them their existing context will end.
  5. Keep it pointed. Divorce is not the time to overshare. The child who asks “why” is just as likely to ask why the sky is blue. The child is not looking for a legal or psychological explanation. They do have parents at a slight disadvantage because the parents don’t know what direction the conversation will take, what needs are priorities for the child, or how the child will express their confusion. So, parents are advised to answer accurately, simply, and responsively.
  6. Aggressively avoid blame. The child must not feel fault in the divorce, and parents only confuse the child more by blaming their spouse. Blaming diminishes the kids’ values and perceptions. It makes more sense to help the child cope by allowing their responses. It’s okay to be sad, so parents should make room for their emotions and behaviors.
  7. Promise futures. In the first conversation and in talks thereafter, parents should stress what will stay the same. Assurances of the things that will stay the same will reduce fears and build confidence in going forward. It should also reduce the questions asked.
  8. Make the child part of the process. The first conversation does not solve the child’s problems. Without overwhelming or burdening the child, parents should keep the child informed on the process. With as much prior notice as possible, parents should explain where the spouses will be living, what the custodial process and decision means to them, or how the divorce court process works. Keeping them informed about the process respects their role and answers their questions.
  9. Look at other divorces. Chances are good that there are divorced families in the immediate family and among the parents social circle. Hopefully, those families model good resolutions to divorce. If they have handled their divorce well, parents can refer their children to observe what does and doesn’t work.
  10. Listen to the divorce lawyer. Experienced divorce lawyers have observed the best and worst divorce events. While it’s not their job to assume parental responsibilities, they can be a knowledgeable and compassionate voice. At KM Family Law, LLC, for example, they opt for an approach that frames divorce as a collaborative transition and resolution rather than a devastating split.

It’s okay to be sad!

Huffington Post says, “We are a culture of doing and fixing. We want to make it all o.k., and we want to do so as quickly as possible.” So, sadness becomes a weakness. As sadness is stifled and suppressed, it turns to anger. Then, anger is restrained and punished.

Conscientious parents want their kids to avoid this black hole. The should want their children to handle the stress and change, and they should want their children to grow and mature through the otherwise unavoidable divorce.

Conscientious parents, emotionally involved in the drama of their own divorce, must understand their children are part of the divorce. The kids’ problems are not after effects; they are current with the divorce process and must be addressed and managed with a shared plan and strategy for reducing the kids’ sense of threat and loss.

It’s okay for the children to be sad. They deserve genuine and clear explanations. And, they need confidence in their voice and the strength to handle the process.

No Time to Make Meals

Guest Post

One of my biggest struggles as a mum is trying to find time to cook decent meals for my kids that they will eat and that I feel good about them eating. I know they will always eat all the mac and cheese and chicken nuggets I make for them, but what about their broccoli, fruits and other foods that their little bodies need?

There will be many times where I will work extra hard to make something for my kids that I think they will like and that I feel good about, but then they refuse to eat it. We can sit together at the table and have a battle of wills over who will hold out the longest, but nobody wins there. Honestly, I don’t have time for that kind of struggle. I need to find foods that they will eat without a problem and that I don’t have to feel guilty about.

The Extra Effort

I found that if I make the food fun, then that can help my kids to eat it. I cut the fruits into shapes like stars and dinosaurs, and the kids love them. Some of my kids are so picky about the kids of foods that most kids will eat without a problem. Bananas, strawberries and apples are all tough foods to get my kids to eat, but once I make it fun for them, then they will tend to eat it without an issue. Making the extra time to make food interesting and exciting to them is tough to do sometimes, but it is worth it. I find that if I prepare things the night before, then I have the extra time I need throughout the day to get other stuff done. If we spend an hour and half on lunch, then I feel like my entire afternoon is shot, so I try not to put elaborate meals on my schedule for noontime.

The Sneaky Meal

Another way I manage to get my kids to eat food without spending a lot of time making something is to take foods that they like and add a bit of nutrition to it. So, I make the aforementioned mac and cheese and add just a hint of broccoli to it. Other veggies can go in there as well. I have added cooked carrots to great effect as well, and I know there are some kids that will pick through their food and pick out the pieces they don’t like. If you make the pieces of veggies or whatever else small enough, though, then your kids might be less inclined to take them out. It’s hard for them to complain about something so small, especially if you cover everything in cheese so that they can’t tell what is good for them from what is creamy pasta. This works pretty well, and it doesn’t take a lot of extra time.

I am constantly trying to find ways to give my kids the food they need to have without spending a long time in the kitchen, and this is a doable solution. I do the same thing with pizza, adding some pineapple or whole tomato pieces onto it, but I run into the pickiness problem there sometimes. Kids are likely to pick things off their pizza that they don’t like, so I have to encourage them to eat all their food if they want dessert or something like that to get them to overlook the healthy stuff on their pizza. There are ways to deal with even picky kids when you want to incorporate some healthy food into their regular diet, and every kid is different. There are a few tricks that work for me, but I can’t promise they will work for you.

Make Lots of Food

Probably the biggest time saver I ever use in the kitchen is just mass producing whatever I am cooking. If I am making a casserole, I make two dishes of it. If I’m making a soup, I use my largest pot. That way, there are plenty of leftovers, and I can just heat them up later in the week to feed myself and the kids. If I did a good job on the food and the kids like it the first time, then they have no problem eating it again. They despise eating leftovers that they were not too crazy about in the first place, though.  

I try to only make large portions of those foods that I know my kids will love. Otherwise, I can be stuck eating it all by myself over the next week. Sometimes, when I mass produce the food, I end up neglecting my chores around the house, so I like to hire a cleaning company, for example Diamond Clean Calgary to take care of things for me for that day or just ask my husband to pick up some of the slack. One way or the other, I make some concessions and do things a bit differently so that I have time to make the food I need to make.

There is a chance that when you make foods in large quantities like this that something will go wrong. The more you make at once, the more likely it is to all just burn or fall flat or something. So, I take my time and try not to multitask too much. And when I do that, it usually turns out okay.

I know some kids are really difficult when it comes to finding foods for them to eat. It can also be time consuming to try to cook different things throughout the week to see what your kids will eat. I say just stick to the things they like and spice them up in some different ways or give them something tangentially related to what they like. Hopefully, my methods will work for you, but you may have to come up with some of your own for dealing with your kids.

How is Genetic Carrier Screening Performed?

Genetic Carrier ScreeningAt a preconception or early prenatal appointment, your doctor may recommend a genetic carrier screening test. A genetic carrier screening is a test that lets you know if you carry a gene for a certain genetic mutation or genetic disorder, and it is most useful for determining your likelihood of having a child with a specific genetic disorder. Carriers do not usually exhibit symptoms of the genetic disease, but are more likely to pass the mutation onto their offspring.

How to Prepare for Genetic Carrier Screening

If you or your partner have a family history of genetic disorders or belong to a particular ethnic group that is at higher risk for a particular genetic disorder, you may want to make an appointment with a genetic counselor to discuss your testing options and future plans if you test positive. If you are unsure of your family medical history or ethnic groups to which you belong, you may also want to consider meeting with a genetic counselor to discuss your likelihood of being a carrier of a genetic disorder and coordinate your testing accordingly.

Genetic Carrier Screening Process

There are two kinds of genetic disease inheritance: autosomal recessive and X-linked. When both parents are found to be carriers of a disorder that is passed on through autosomal recessive inheritance, they will have approximately a 25% chance of having a child with that disorder. When only the mother is found to be a carrier of an X-linked disorder, the child has approximately a 50% chance of being born with that X-linked disorder. For both types of disorders, usually the mother will be tested first to see if she is a carrier. If she tests positive, then the father will also undergo testing. If the mother tests negative as a carrier for all recessive and X-linked genetic diseases, then the father will likely not need to undergo testing.

The testing process for genetic disorders is quite simple and can be performed using a simple blood draw from the mother. Results are provided to your doctor within two weeks, and your doctor or genetic counselor will schedule an appointment with you to go over the results.

After Genetic Carrier Screening

A genetic counselor will be able to provide additional insight and guidance about the likelihood that your child will be born with an inherited disease, alternative options to conceive (if necessary), and how to plan for appropriate treatment for a child with an inherited genetic disorder.

SOURCES:

https://www.acog.org/Patients/FAQs/Carrier-Screening#carrier

https://www.nsgc.org/page/whoaregeneticcounselors-473

https://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/primer/inheritance/riskassessment

https://www.babycenter.com/0_carrier-screening-for-inherited-genetic-disorders_1453030.bc

Travelling in the U.K. #ExploringCheshire

If there’s one thing that Husband and I have realised this summer it’s that we want to do more stuff as a family all year round. We put so much pressure on ourselves in the holidays to pack in the days out and activities that we’re all a bit burnt out and the holidays seem to disappear in the blink of an eye. We decided that if we did more stuff for the rest of the year, there wouldn’t be a big rush in the 6-week break and we could enjoy it all a bit more.

We’ve vowed to travel more within the UK and see more of our lovely isles, and one place we’d like to go is Cheshire. It’s a great county with so much to offer (and it helps that it’s home to a lot of players from our beloved Liverpool FC!), and the lovely folk at Laurus Homes have made a really interesting infographic to show some of the best parts of the area:

Cheshire

Here are some of the places we’d love to visit:

Blue Planet Aquarium Ellesmere Port

Blue Planet is the largest aquarium in the North West and you can view Europe’s largest collection of sharks through our captivating 71-metre underwater tunnel – you can even swim with them! It’s also home to over 100 living displays and thousands of marine creatures from around the world, so you’re bound to find something fun for the whole family!

Nantwich Jazz, Blues and Music Festival

These days, I’m a bit too much of a lightweight for the intense environments of most music festivals, but one which showcases the best jazz and blues sounds right up my alley!

McArthur Glen Cheshire Oaks

The only thing I love more than shopping is getting a massive bargain and this retail park in Cheshire is a designer outlet, home to shops which give massive discounts off of designer brands!

Where in Cheshire would you love to visit?

Could You Live A More Self-Sufficient Life?

With countries around the world experiencing their longest and hottest summers for some years, it’s more important than ever we consider our carbon footprints and the waste we produce that could contribute to global warming. While recycling has been encouraged for some time, there are other ways you could live a self-sufficient life with you and your family and have a kinder effect on the planet. Here we’ve put together some fun and interesting ways you can incorporate self-sufficiency into your daily activities.

Home Harvested Breakfast

Kitchen windowsill herb gardens and spice plants are a fond favourite but there is plenty more you can grow easily at home. Set up a home allotment plot and grow favourite dinner accompaniments such as tomatoes, carrots, cucumbers, you can even plant some sweet delights including strawberries and even pineapple! If you plan your garden right, you can continue to grow all year round providing you healthy variation to keep your palette happy.

A meal of just vegetables likely isn’t going to take your fancy but no one can turn down the freshest of eggs and keeping chickens is a great way to bring a pet into your life that offers a daily reward. Chickens like any pet can bring you lots of joy and can be quite affectionate, responding to your voice and following you around the garden.

Turn Your Waste into Plant Food

You may have heard of a composting toilet used in caravans, but could you bring one into your home? There are plenty of composting toilets available on the market and the new designs handle your waste without worry about nasty odours, not to mention the fantastic effect they have on your water bill. Considering the huge amounts of water used every day by toilets around the country, a composting toilet is a brilliant way to live a greener lifestyle.

Harness the Energy of the Sun

Electricity bills can be a huge outgoing every month with the amount of connected smart gadgets that are ever increasing. Consider installing solar panels on your home, modern day designs can still generate on overcast days, so you don’t need to worry about lack of sun in the winter months. Solar panels can drastically lower your electric bills and in some areas even produce enough energy to provide you free electricity (once your panels are paid off).

Live in an Eco-home

The term eco-home can be applied to many types of dwellings that are either self-sufficient in nature or eco-friendly in their build. An earthship would be an extreme example of an eco-home, completely built out of recycled materials including bottles and vehicle tyres and using natural materials like earth and clay. Could you build your own earthship?

A less extreme example would be a park home, built to strict energy efficient standards and often manufactured from sustainably-sourced resources and materials. Find more information on how a park home could save you money in the long-term and look at park homes for sale here. Park homes can be bought and installed on private land but are most common in residential parks where residents feel a greater sense of community and are close to necessary amenities and facilities like entertainment and sports. Perfect for starting a growing community or even keeping chickens together! Greener community living is a great way to accompany your eco-friendly park home.

Are you a self-sufficient home-owner or do you struggle to keep up with the recycling? Consider living a greener life today so your children may follow these traditions and help improve life on our planet for all people and species, the globe over. We only have one planet, so it’s important we take care of it and there is a special sense of accomplishment that is felt from living a self-sustaining lifestyle where you grow, harvest and recycle as much as you can.

When is it the Right Time to Get a New Car for Small Families?

Obtaining a new car is a big step for a small family and a vehicle is often essential in order to address daily activities. When is the best time to consider a new car and what factors should you consider in advance?

Year-End Sales Events

All dealers are required to clear out old inventory before the new models can go on display. So, they will often offer discounts and other special packages such as extended warranties. The end of the year is a great time to see what is available, but keep in mind that others will likely have the same idea.

The End of the Month

Many experts feel that the end of the month is a great time to get a new car. This partially arises from the incentives that are offered to sales representatives. As they rely upon commissions, you could very well be presented with an offer that would not otherwise be possible.

Model Changeovers

Out with the old and in with the new. This phrase is particularly relevant within the car industry. Countless makes and models emerge every year and quotas need to be met.

Therefore, newer versions tend to roll out in the beginning of the year. This is one of the reasons why the month of December is a good time to begin performing research.

However, the end of the model year can sometimes occur in the spring or the summer. This is often the case if the dealer happens to be releasing recreational vehicles such as convertibles or SUVs. Keep up to date with your local dealerships to learn when new designs are coming to the market.

Online Shopping (and In-Person Testing)

The great thing about the online retail community is that you have an immeasurable amount of information at your fingertips. Check out local and regional dealer websites to first see what is being offered. Compare the price of each model with other providers as well as with the official listing (MSRP).

Also, be sure to research your leasing company first. Examine their history, what services they provide and what other customers have to say. Having said this, always perform an in-person test drive before committing to any deal. NEVER close an agreement over the Internet, as you might not be aware exactly what you are getting.

Holiday Sales Events

The holidays are great times to find a money-saving deal on your favorite vehicle. You will often find discounts equivalent to five or even ten percent. We should still mention once again that others will likely have the same idea. Try to schedule an appointment in advance.

A new car can provide your small family with room to grow and there is no doubt that such vehicles are a pleasure to drive. If you would like to discover even more family-oriented advice, be sure to subscribe to Mum’s the Word. There are countless tips and tricks here to make your life easier than you can imagine.

Keeping Your Elderly Relatives Independent

If you’ve ever had an elderly relative, it’s likely that you’ll know about the struggle to keep them mobile and independent in their own homes. It’s quite rare for someone to willingly move to an assisted living facility, and often they’ll want to stay in their own home for as long as possible, so finding mobility aids to help them is really important for both their safety and your peace of mind. Here are a few things which can help:

Riser Chairs

When you’re able bodied, you don’t realise how difficult just the act of sitting down and standing up can be, but once you lose strength and stability in your legs, it can be really daunting. It’s possible to buy reclining armchairs which also have a mechanism which lifts you up into an almost standing position and then lowers you back down when you want to sit again, and they can be an absolute godsend for people with mobility issues.

Mug Holders

If your elderly relative lacks strength in their hands or wrists, something as simple as trying to have a cup of tea can not only become tricky, but also downright dangerous as the risk of getting a lap full of boiling water increases. Mug holders allow you to slip a normal mug into an external casing which provides you with an extra handle to hold, allowing you to safely hold a mug with two hands, increasing your strength and stability. You can also buy two-handled teapots!

Bedrails

For many reasons, as people get older, their risk of falling out of bed gets higher, which can not only be dangerous but also feel daunting and demoralising. Bed rails may make a bed look a little clinical but they’re a great way to make bedtime safe again, and can even improve the quality of sleep that your elderly relative will get because they’re safe in the knowledge that they won’t fall out of bed again.

Bathroom Rails

Being able to bathe independently is often the thing that elderly people want to maintain more than any other aspect of living, probably because washing yourself is such a personal thing. Installing rails around the bathroom to help them to get in and out of the bath or shower can mean that your elderly relative is able to be more steady on their feet while washing, and reduces the need for help from someone else, increasing the level of dignity that they maintain.

Gardening Tools

It’s all well and good being able to get around the home, but most people want to maintain a sense of normality outside of the home too, and for many thins means being able to continue to maintain their garden. There are gardening tools available with enhanced grips to make them easier for people with mobility issues to hold, and being able to do a little bit of gardening can have a massive effect on a person’s mental wellness.

Play More and Win a Sudocrem My Little Adventure Pack!

One of the reasons that we moved to our little house in the countryside, back in 2015, was so that we could spend more time outdoors as a family. Living in a very suburban area meant that we were constantly surrounded by noise and pollution, our garden was overlooked by about 100 other houses and to get anywhere even vaguely quiet or secluded, we’d need to drive a fair way.

Where we live now, there are less than 15 houses in our entire village and we have a lovely big garden for the girls to enjoy, as well as public footpaths leading through the countryside, right on our doorsteps. It means that screen time has been massively already reduced this summer, with the girls choosing to play outside in the paddling pool, riding their bikes, or walking with me and Husband when we take Maureen out (which hasn’t been until about 9pm in this heat!)

We’ve teamed up with Sudocrem to get involved with their latest campaign to get kids outside. As part of the campaign, they are encouraging parents around the UK to nominate a nursery and give them the chance to help improve the nurseries outdoor play area – just click the link to go through the the page for nominations. 

They said: “Children are spending more time indoors than outside and they are missing out on exploring the natural world around them. In fact, research found that 1 in 9 British children have not visited a beach, park or forest in twelve months, and on average, a British child only spends 4 hours a week playing in the great outdoors. [1]This is why Sudocrem set up the award-winning Play More campaign, an initiative designed to encourage parents and children to get back in touch with nature and explore the greatest playground on earth- the outdoors. As part of the campaign, Sudocrem carried out a survey which asked 200 children between the ages of 4 to 8 years old to identify some of the creepy crawlies in Britain. The survey revealed that 9 out of 10 children (89%) were unable to recognise a butterfly even though there is an abundance of native British insects, with around 27,000 insect species calling the UK home. Moreover, 51% didn’t know what a Bumblebee looks like. And, surprisingly, 1 in 3 (29%) didn’t realise that bees make honey[2].

Children are not only unable to identify some of the most distinctive insects, but they are also missing out on the adventure which comes with playing outside in a natural environment.  Over half of those surveyed (59%) admitted that they had never climbed a tree, 89% didn’t know what a Buttercup was and 77% couldn’t identify a Sunflower. Are children losing their sense of wonder and adventure?

According to children’s TV presenter and naturalist, Chris Packham, who’s an ambassador for Play More, parents should be encouraging their children to get outside and explore the natural environment around them. “I was very fortunate when I was a child because I was encouraged to interact with the outdoors- looking under rocks and searching under logs and hedges to find creepy crawlies. If you just open your eyes, you’ll see that there is an incredible natural world out there waiting to be discovered”.”

They’ve given us one of their gorgeous Sudocrem My Little Adventure Packs to give away to one lucky reader.  The kit is worth £40.00 and includes:

– Play More t-shirt
– Play More sun hat
– Bug Pot
– Frisbee
– Butterfly Net
– Magnifying glass
– Trowel or fork

To be in with a chance of winning, leave me a comment below telling me your favourite place to get outdoors with the kids. You’ve got until midnight on 31st July 2018 to enter.

T&Cs: winner will be chosen at random. Winner will have 48 hours to provide me with their postal address once contact has been made. If winner doesn’t respond within this time a new winner will be chosen. No cash alternative offered, prizes supplied and sent by PR company for Sudocrem. Mum’s the Word accepts no liability for supply of prizes.
[1] According to a government report, ‘MENE: A pilot for an indicator of visits to the natural environment by children- results from years 1 to 2 (March 2013-February 2015)’.
[2] National report conducted by Sudocrem, April 2018.

Ways to Fill the Summer Holidays When You Aren’t Going Abroad

pony schoolIt’s fair to say that Husband, the kids and I are all homebodies. We love the idea of going abroad on holiday but when we had Chuck is was impossible and Maureen is still a little bit too young for us to leave her for too long, so a jaunt abroad is off the cards for now. We do, however, like to fill the summer holidays with as many days out and activities as possible, so that the kids don’t get bored and do that annoying bickering thing that kids do when they spend too much time at home, with only each other to play with! This is just a few of the things we do each year:

Pony School

We’re lucky enough to live close to a few different riding schools and some of them run pony schools in the holidays where the kids spend one day a week riding, grooming and generally “horsing” about (HA!) with the friendlier ponies at the stables. It’s usually about £25 per session and the kids need over the knee boots from UK footwear specialists Uppersole, but it’s pretty good value when you think about how long they get to spend with the ponies.

Garden Beach

Last year, we bought a massive paddling pool, set up the slide, sun loungers, a Bluetooth speaker and some mocktails and had what we called “The Garden Beach”. It was like a very miniature version of lazing around the pool on holiday, the kids thought it was amazing and I loved the chance to sit in the sun and read my book! This year, we’re planning on elaborating and even having a tent by the pool which we may spend the night in, if the kids are brave enough!

Fruit Picking

One of the things we have planned this year is a bit of Pick Your Own – it’s something I did when I was a kid and I absolutely loved it, and as soon as I told the girls about it, they found the idea really exciting so it’s on the list of things to do this summer.

Get the Bus

The kids are lucky enough to have Mummy’s Taxi Service which means they get ferried everywhere in the comfort of our car, but neither of them has ever really experienced public transport much, so they’ve asked if we can take a trip into town on the bus! This may sound very run-of-the-mill, but when you consider that we live in the countryside with one bus stop a mile away and buses which run quite sporadically, I suspect it may be more of an adventure than your usual bus trip!

Cookery Classes

Our local supermarket has a test kitchen and every year they run kids cookery classes throughout the holidays. They’re about £7 per session and include all of the ingredients they need to make a different dish each week. It’s a really nice way for the kids to spend a morning, plus they learn new skills and have the thrill of bringing home and eating what they’ve made.

How To Build A Healthy Family – Follow These 6 Steps

Photo credit https://unsplash.com/@everythingcaptured

If you were able to time-travel and you asked someone who lived in 1900, what their main priority in life is; they would probably say “Having a healthy family.” If you asked someone in 1940, 1960, or 2010 the same question, you would probably get the same answer. Having a healthy family has always been a top priority. But, today’s family is nothing like the family in 1900 or 1950. We, as society changed our concept of what having a healthy family means.

The old days and the old ways

In the past, it was expected that the male partner would go to work every day and the female partner would stay home to take care of the children, home, and the needs of every member of the family. The female was not expected to get a higher education, to have a career, or to step outside of her defined lines.

Today’s families are different. A family unit may be a traditional male and female. The family may be a single parent, same-sex partners, grandparents raising children or adopted children. A  family is defined by the people who love each other, support each other and nurture each other.

All people have the right to choose if they want to further their education, have a career, or dedicate themselves to the raising of children. To put it bluntly, we each have a right to create our version of a happy, and healthy family.

Photo credit https://unsplash.com/photos/ZtLASJerPb0

6 Fundamental properties all healthy families need

No matter how you choose to live your life and raise your family, there are some basics that hold true for all healthy families. We are going to list them for you below.

 

 

  • Leadership

 

Each member of your family has a particular position. You adore your child, but you cannot give your child a position of authority. Parents must be the leadership of the family. Parents must set the standards for the family and enforce the rules that are needed to be safe and healthy. Adults should adult in private and stand together when an issue arises. This gives children the feeling of security.

 

  • Family hobbies

 

A family needs to have something that you do as a unit. It can be something like hiking, biking, or planting a flower garden. Teaching your child how planting something like Bee Balm Plants which you can later use for making salads or dry the leaves and make your kids a healthy and aromatic tea.

 

  • Health

 

From an early age children need to be taught how to eat, exercise, and the impact of what they put in their bodies does for them. They learn from you. However, they are children. When there is a holiday, party, or event coming up that will feature candy; you do not want your child to feel like they cannot enjoy the event. Be proactive. Keep a supply of sugar-free lollipops in bulk in your home. Your child and their friends will enjoy their treats and they don’t need to know they are sugar-free.

 

  • Communication and compassion

 

It is important to establish open communication with your children. But, be careful not to dismiss their concerns as trivial. They may seem small to you, but in their world, it is important to respect that.

 

  • Attention

 

Many families have a superstar. One of the kids always aces the tests, hits the home-run, and looks great in anything they put on. Parents do not mean to ignore the other children, but it happens. It is important that each and every person has equal time in the spotlight. Point out each child’s strengths and attributes.

 

  • Independence

 

As important as it is to come together, having alone time is a part of life. You need it as an adult and your child needs it in smaller doses so they will grow. They will learn to entertain themselves. They will learn to trust their instincts. They will learn to stand on their own two feet. You owe it to your children to teach them to stand on their own. They are only children a little while. It is your job to teach them to become self-sufficient adults.

As stated, you have a right to create the family you want. Our suggestions are just that. They are suggestions for you to consider. You may want to change them or replace them. Create your roadmap to success. Remember, there are little people following your every move.