Family

It’s Okay to Be Sad: 10 Simple Points That Outline How to Explain Divorce to a Kid

Photo by Kat J on Unsplash

The number of marriages that end in divorce seems to be rising year on year. More and more couples are encountering issues that ultimately become too much for them to deal with. The next steps include applying for a divorce and speaking to a team like those at Peters May for assistance. But what happens when kids are involved? Kids are more resilient than they get credit for. Many of them survive their parents’ divorce with some ease. But, many children are pressed by the incidents leading to the divorce. The divorce finalizes an emotional crisis that children may be less able to manage psychologically.

It’s tough on them. It’s simply confusing, frustrating, and scary for their developing minds. For instance, children need security and being self-concerned as they are, they cannot see what’s in it for them. They may worry about the security of home and hearth or about which parent will have custody.

Children of divorce need to know it’s okay to be sad, but there are ways to help them through the stress.

10 simple points that outline how to explain divorce to a kid:

Psychology Today notes, “Sadness is valid and useful and alerts us to how we need to treat ourselves.” And, that’s an adult understanding, but children don’t have this perspective. The experience of divorce lawyers and counselors has developed some simple points that outline how to explain divorce to a kid.

These strategies would vary with the age of the child, but for our purposes here, we are talking about young children:

  1. Be age-appropriate. Parents must understand to whom they are talking. They should meet with the child personally rather than offloading the conversation to a grandparent or lawyer. They should collaborate on a script and keep it short and direct.
  2. List the child’s needs. The divorce conversation is not about the parents. It is about how the change will affect the kid’s needs. Every child is different and values somethings more than others. Kids might worry about the future of their pet. They may worry about where they will live or what school they will attend. These concerns are selfish on the surface, but they also reflect their fears and insecurities. The kids aren’t after sophisticated answers. They want assurances.
  3. Listen actively. Young children have difficulty expressing their feelings in words. They are more likely to show anger, confusion, and/or tears. So, attentive parents will listen proactively. That means nodding in agreement, summarizing what they say, and reiterating their word choice. Active listening shows respect, leads to better understanding on both parts and clarifies future relationships.
  4. Prepare with patience. The older the child, the more drama surrounds the conversation. The child’s confusion creates many “why” questions. A series of why questions if the child’s way of focusing. They are trying to discover a sensible solution by funneling the responses into an explanation they can appreciate and accept. They are trying to build context once parents have told them their existing context will end.
  5. Keep it pointed. Divorce is not the time to overshare. The child who asks “why” is just as likely to ask why the sky is blue. The child is not looking for a legal or psychological explanation. They do have parents at a slight disadvantage because the parents don’t know what direction the conversation will take, what needs are priorities for the child, or how the child will express their confusion. So, parents are advised to answer accurately, simply, and responsively.
  6. Aggressively avoid blame. The child must not feel fault in the divorce, and parents only confuse the child more by blaming their spouse. Blaming diminishes the kids’ values and perceptions. It makes more sense to help the child cope by allowing their responses. It’s okay to be sad, so parents should make room for their emotions and behaviors.
  7. Promise futures. In the first conversation and in talks thereafter, parents should stress what will stay the same. Assurances of the things that will stay the same will reduce fears and build confidence in going forward. It should also reduce the questions asked.
  8. Make the child part of the process. The first conversation does not solve the child’s problems. Without overwhelming or burdening the child, parents should keep the child informed on the process. With as much prior notice as possible, parents should explain where the spouses will be living, what the custodial process and decision means to them, or how the divorce court process works. Keeping them informed about the process respects their role and answers their questions.
  9. Look at other divorces. Chances are good that there are divorced families in the immediate family and among the parents social circle. Hopefully, those families model good resolutions to divorce. If they have handled their divorce well, parents can refer their children to observe what does and doesn’t work.
  10. Listen to the divorce lawyer. Experienced divorce lawyers have observed the best and worst divorce events. While it’s not their job to assume parental responsibilities, they can be a knowledgeable and compassionate voice. At KM Family Law, LLC, for example, they opt for an approach that frames divorce as a collaborative transition and resolution rather than a devastating split.

It’s okay to be sad!

Huffington Post says, “We are a culture of doing and fixing. We want to make it all o.k., and we want to do so as quickly as possible.” So, sadness becomes a weakness. As sadness is stifled and suppressed, it turns to anger. Then, anger is restrained and punished.

Conscientious parents want their kids to avoid this black hole. The should want their children to handle the stress and change, and they should want their children to grow and mature through the otherwise unavoidable divorce.

Conscientious parents, emotionally involved in the drama of their own divorce, must understand their children are part of the divorce. The kids’ problems are not after effects; they are current with the divorce process and must be addressed and managed with a shared plan and strategy for reducing the kids’ sense of threat and loss.

It’s okay for the children to be sad. They deserve genuine and clear explanations. And, they need confidence in their voice and the strength to handle the process.

Shopping

5 Things Customers Have Come to Expect from All Shops

There are more and more businesses popping up with competitive products and services. Both online and offline customers are spoilt for choices. It is evident that customers have high expectations when they go to a store to buy anything. If the expectations are not met at one shop, there are plenty of others that they can go to for their shopping needs.

As a business, to outdo your competitors, it is essential to meet the expectations of your customers no matter how high they are. Customers have some basic expectations that need to be matched to maintain the customer.

Wide Variety

When you open your business, you can decide on the niche that you want to cover. No matter what you are choosing to sell, you need to ensure that your customer is not returned empty handed. Well stocking your store is important to keep your customers coming back. If your customer repeatedly has to go back empty handed from your store they will stop coming to your store when they need anything. Variety is key to keeping your customer interested. From the products you sell to carrier bags, you need to give a lot of options to your customers. Just like cotton printed bags wholesale you can buy all your products wholesale.

Big Discounts

Even if your customer does not expect your store to sell products at a loss, they do expect to avail discounts. Discounts allow customers to feel like they are getting the best deals. You need to offer discounts on a regular basis. Offering discounts are not enough you have to notify your customers that you are providing some kind of discount. When you buy cotton printed bags wholesale, you expect to fill them up with products your customers purchase. Offer discounts so that customers do come to your shop to buy what they need.

Quality Products

Every purchase from your shop should be a happy one. If your product does not meet the quality that your customer is looking for then they will not return to your shop again. from the products you are selling to the carrier bags you give, quality is a priority. Even if you buy cotton printed bags wholesale, you need to make sure that your supplier is providing you with the best quality product. Customers expect quality in exchange for the money that they are forking out.

Excellent Service

Customers do not like wandering around shops when looking for products. Customers do not like waiting in the long check out cues. Customers do not like long, arduous process when dealing with returns and refunds. Customers do enjoy speedy service with a smile. How your employees treat your customers can ensure if your customer will return to your store or not.

Loyalty Rewards

A customer is more likely to return to a particular shop if there is some incentive for the return. Loyalty points incentivise your customer to make further purchases from your store. Some customers may even seek out businesses that offer loyalty memberships and rewards. So, set up a system of giving your loyal customers something in return for the business they bring to your shop.

Meet your customer’s expectations and keep them coming back for more.

Family

No Time to Make Meals

Guest Post

One of my biggest struggles as a mum is trying to find time to cook decent meals for my kids that they will eat and that I feel good about them eating. I know they will always eat all the mac and cheese and chicken nuggets I make for them, but what about their broccoli, fruits and other foods that their little bodies need?

There will be many times where I will work extra hard to make something for my kids that I think they will like and that I feel good about, but then they refuse to eat it. We can sit together at the table and have a battle of wills over who will hold out the longest, but nobody wins there. Honestly, I don’t have time for that kind of struggle. I need to find foods that they will eat without a problem and that I don’t have to feel guilty about.

The Extra Effort

I found that if I make the food fun, then that can help my kids to eat it. I cut the fruits into shapes like stars and dinosaurs, and the kids love them. Some of my kids are so picky about the kids of foods that most kids will eat without a problem. Bananas, strawberries and apples are all tough foods to get my kids to eat, but once I make it fun for them, then they will tend to eat it without an issue. Making the extra time to make food interesting and exciting to them is tough to do sometimes, but it is worth it. I find that if I prepare things the night before, then I have the extra time I need throughout the day to get other stuff done. If we spend an hour and half on lunch, then I feel like my entire afternoon is shot, so I try not to put elaborate meals on my schedule for noontime.

The Sneaky Meal

Another way I manage to get my kids to eat food without spending a lot of time making something is to take foods that they like and add a bit of nutrition to it. So, I make the aforementioned mac and cheese and add just a hint of broccoli to it. Other veggies can go in there as well. I have added cooked carrots to great effect as well, and I know there are some kids that will pick through their food and pick out the pieces they don’t like. If you make the pieces of veggies or whatever else small enough, though, then your kids might be less inclined to take them out. It’s hard for them to complain about something so small, especially if you cover everything in cheese so that they can’t tell what is good for them from what is creamy pasta. This works pretty well, and it doesn’t take a lot of extra time.

I am constantly trying to find ways to give my kids the food they need to have without spending a long time in the kitchen, and this is a doable solution. I do the same thing with pizza, adding some pineapple or whole tomato pieces onto it, but I run into the pickiness problem there sometimes. Kids are likely to pick things off their pizza that they don’t like, so I have to encourage them to eat all their food if they want dessert or something like that to get them to overlook the healthy stuff on their pizza. There are ways to deal with even picky kids when you want to incorporate some healthy food into their regular diet, and every kid is different. There are a few tricks that work for me, but I can’t promise they will work for you.

Make Lots of Food

Probably the biggest time saver I ever use in the kitchen is just mass producing whatever I am cooking. If I am making a casserole, I make two dishes of it. If I’m making a soup, I use my largest pot. That way, there are plenty of leftovers, and I can just heat them up later in the week to feed myself and the kids. If I did a good job on the food and the kids like it the first time, then they have no problem eating it again. They despise eating leftovers that they were not too crazy about in the first place, though.  

I try to only make large portions of those foods that I know my kids will love. Otherwise, I can be stuck eating it all by myself over the next week. Sometimes, when I mass produce the food, I end up neglecting my chores around the house, so I like to hire a cleaning company, for example Diamond Clean Calgary to take care of things for me for that day or just ask my husband to pick up some of the slack. One way or the other, I make some concessions and do things a bit differently so that I have time to make the food I need to make.

There is a chance that when you make foods in large quantities like this that something will go wrong. The more you make at once, the more likely it is to all just burn or fall flat or something. So, I take my time and try not to multitask too much. And when I do that, it usually turns out okay.

I know some kids are really difficult when it comes to finding foods for them to eat. It can also be time consuming to try to cook different things throughout the week to see what your kids will eat. I say just stick to the things they like and spice them up in some different ways or give them something tangentially related to what they like. Hopefully, my methods will work for you, but you may have to come up with some of your own for dealing with your kids.

Diabetes

What You Need to Know About Diabetes Mellitus

Diabetes Mellitus
It is estimated that around 10% of the population of the United States of America suffer from diabetes mellitus, generally just referred to as diabetes, but it should not be confused with diabetes insipidus. Diabetes can be a life-threatening or very debilitating condition but it is also completely manageable such that people living with diabetes can have long and healthy lives. The important thing with diabetes is picking it up quickly by watching out for the symptoms and reducing risk factors for developing it. It is also important for those who have diabetes to manage it correctly so that it doesn’t negatively affect their life. There are a number of different choices for the management of diabetes which definitively include pharmaceutical intervention but also a number of natural health choices like modifying one’s diet. Authority Reports has more about this topic of healthy eating and getting enough nutrients and the right nutrients to improve your health.

What Exactly Is Diabetes?

Diabetes is a condition that is characterized by being unable to absorb glucose from the blood to supply the body’s energy needs. There are generally two ways this can occur. The first is that there is a destruction of the beta cells in the pancreas which are responsible for making the hormone insulin. Insulin basically acts like a key that unlocks the gates in the body’s cells to let the glucose in. If the body doesn’t produce insulin then the glucose stays at very high levels in the blood that can actually cause harm. At the same time, the body uses other methods of producing energy which results in the formation of some toxic by-products.

The other way this can happen is that the “gates” on the cells no longer respond to insulin and the same thing happens.

What Are The Risk Factors For Developing Diabetes?

Diabetes is what medical professionals and scientists refer to as a multifactorial condition. This means that there are a number of factors that can contribute to the development of diabetes. Scientists have known for a very long time that there is a genetic link to diabetes which means if you have a family history then your risk is increased. If you have a history of pancreatic disease, then there is also a greater chance of developing diabetes. These factors are related to type 1 diabetes which is due to the destruction of the pancreas.

The more common risk factors, which are associated with type 2 diabetes, which is more insulin resistance, include:

  • Obesity
  • Sedentary lifestyle (very little exercise)
  • Being older than 45

There is also a temporary form of diabetes related to being pregnant known as gestational diabetes.

How Is Diabetes Diagnosed?

Diabetes is diagnosed by checking blood glucose levels over a period of time. There is a fancy way that doctors do this now which is by measuring the amount of glucose in your hemoglobin. This measurement shows the average blood sugar level for the past 3 months before the test is taken. A reading of between 5.7 and 6.4 is considered prediabetes and a reading of 6.5 or higher on two different tests is diagnostic of diabetes.

The consideration for being tested is generally based on a person’s symptoms. These include:

  • Frequent thirst and urination
  • Fatigue
  • Blurred vision
  • Slow healing of cuts and bruises
  • Ketones in the urine

How Is Diabetes Managed?

The management of diabetes is very simple but does require dedication. The first line of treatment is to control the diet quite strictly by avoiding sugar and highly processed carbohydrates. A good exercise plan also helps to control glucose levels without any pharmaceutical intervention.

If diabetes can’t be controlled in this way then the person is given an insulin injection or pills that control glucose uptake. Throughout the process, constant monitoring of blood sugar is needed. There is also research that is looking at a pancreas transplant as a potential treatment for diabetes.

Some individuals have been cured of type 2 diabetes by simply controlling the risk factors that lead them to develop the disease.

Conclusion

We know a lot more about diabetes today then we did just a few years ago. Today it is no longer a scary and untreatable disease. Many diabetic people go on to live very long and fulfilling lives. The important thing for everyone is to manage their risk factors, and if they develop diabetes, to stick to the management plan to avoid complications.

Cleaning

Top 8 Ways to Simplify Your House Cleaning

Housework
Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

House cleaning is a necessary but stressful process for everyone. Generally, it starts off as a seemingly simple chore which becomes increasingly overwhelming as time passes by. And most of us wish that the process could be simpler and less tedious. Well, it could be, but only if you know how to make the process simpler and less stressful. This article focuses on eight ways to make house simpler.

Do a little daily

Staying on top of  small daily tasks makes cleaning so much easier. Most of us prefer to do all our house cleaning in a single day, the main reason being the lack of time during weekdays due to work. However, doing a few small tasks daily such as wiping counters and washing dishes can make a huge difference. The aim here is to avoid building smaller chores into large ones.

Make a Schedule

Staying on top of things is not as easy as it sounds especially because there is a plethora of other stuff which occupies your mind and could cause you to forget that you have to do the dishes or wipe the counters. That is why it is important to have a schedule which clearly shows when you want to get some house chores done. Having a schedule gives you a clear-cut plan of action and prevents lagging or idling around when you have work to be done.

Make and implement rules

 Sometimes, making a few rules could be just what you need to make house cleaning simpler and less stressful. This is especially necessary if people usually make a mess at your home which you have to clean up all by yourself. Some rules would go make it easier to do your job, especially if everyone does theirs. Consider rules like “no shoes on while on the carpet” which could help reduce the number of times you need to vacuum-clean your carpet. An important part of making rules is implementation of the rules since rules without implementation are nothing but words.

Decluttering

 An important part of making cleaning simpler is organization. The main cause of cluttering at home is the fact that everything is kept everywhere. Have places for everything. If possible, label places where certain stuff should be kept like cups, plates, spoon/forks and other household equipment. This also applies to clothes, undies, and shoes.

Clean as you go

This technique is better and easier to use after decluttering. Once clusters have been reorganized, wiping becomes much easier, maybe even fun. Wiping bathroom counters and sinks after taking a bath could be easier after bottles and accessories have been moved out of the way. Also, cleaning dishes after meals make the sink empty which in turn makes wiping easy. However, not all chores are compatible with this technique but it is important to do those that are.

Be consistent

 Consistency is important in making house cleaning simple. If you have work to be done, do the work. There is nothing worse and demotivating than being in work mode and then lagging only to continue later. Being consistent is also about doing a little each day without skipping. Doing some laundry for about ten minutes each day will reduce the overall amount of laundry you have to do during weekends.

Delegate chores 

If dirtying the house is not entirely your fault, then, cleaning the house should not be entirely your responsibility. Make cleaning a family thing. Delegate some of the chores to the kids. Regardless of the age, everyone should be able to contribute in some way (except a toddler, of course). Being a mom doesn’t mean you have to carry the entire load of housecleaning.

Consider outdoor help

 If the burden of work is too much for you, employ a maid or a yardman. Employing outside help will immensely lessen your workload and give you time to actually spend with your kids and train them in the way you would like them to be. However, if you think you couldn’t handle the workload, outside help is unnecessary.

Liz is a part of the Content team at Best Vacuum Expert, sharing expert knowledge and best tips on how to have a clean house.