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Sometimes I get sent products to review that I’m genuinely excited about trying out and the Kärcher Window Vac is one of them. If you’ve not seen the adverts you’re not watching telly right, the vac is basically like the squeegee thing that you see a professional window cleaner using, except it actually sucks the water up as the blade moves over the glass.
I tested it on Friday morning, when Sausage was at school, and had amazing results. I didn’t charge it up, so it only lasted about the amount if time it needed to do a set of french doors and two medium windows, but on a full charge it’ll last much longer, 45 windows worth, in fact. The thing that struck me about it was the speed that I managed to clean the windows in. I used warm, soapy water and an old tea towel to actually wash the windows, then used the window vac all over them and it took me seconds to do each window. It was SO quick and I didn’t need any fancy window cleaning solution, I didn’t have to save up a years’ worth of free newspapers, I didn’t smell of vinegar afterwards and I barely even got my hands dirty. I made a video to show you how it works but it was, in all honesty, the worst demo video EVER, so here’s a rather more professional one!:
Be aware, I HATE cleaning, but using the Kärcher Window Vac was a genuine pleasure. I’m a sucker for a gadget but I expect a lot from things. I don’t put up with shoddy performance and often send things back if they don’t do exactly what it says on the tin, but this little diamond has got two very enthusiastic thumbs up (Clueless quote, for any children of the 90’s) from me. You can also use it to clean up spills, clean condensation from windows, cleaning car bodywork (imagine the time and effort you’ll save without having to use a chamois!), shower screens, marble worktops…the potential is endless!
The good news is, I have another one of these to give away! Fill in the Rafflecopter widget in the usual way and you can be in with a chance of winning!
What did the banana say to the doctor, when he was under the weather? “I’m not peeling very well”…! Boom boom.
The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, “I’m so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us.”
The grandmother was curious.
“What trick is that my dear?” she asked.
The little boy replied, “I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again.”
Oh dear, I’m really bad at jokes…Crab walks into a bar, Barman says ‘oi, you,get out’ so he leaves. Barman turn to another customer ‘he’s always coming in here, giving it all that’ *does snappy mouthy claw hand gesture* *realises this joke does not work written down* *leaves swiftly*
erm erm, totally put on the spot.
go here instead
http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com/
Van Gogh walks into a bar. Barman says, “Alright mate, want a beer?” Van Gogh says, “Nah, you’re alright, I’ve got one ‘ere.” Ba-da-BOOM.
Why is the sand wet? Because the sea weed. Or what did the sea say to the sand, nothing, it just gave a little wave. Sorry, these are the best I could come up with.
why did the mexican push his wife off a cliff? Tequila!
Why did the pie stand on the corner of the street? Cos it was Meat n Potato!
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one for drinking battery acid and the other for eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off!
My dog ‘Minton’ keeps running off with my shuttlecocks – Bad Minton
Two women where walking home home after a girls night out and they feel the need to pee, so passing a graveyard, they decide to go to answer the call of nature.
Of course they have no loo roll so the first one uses her knickers and then throws them away while the other woman spots a ribbon on a wreath and pulls it off and uses that.
Next day, their husbands are talking and one says to the other, you know we need to watch our wives when they go out for their nights out, my wife came home last night without her knickers. “You think that’s bad” said the other husband, mine had a card stuck to her bum that said “from all the guys at the fire station – we’ll miss you”
How do you castrate a priest?
Kick the alter boy in the back of the head. ;0)
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Europe
Europe Who?
No, you’re a poo.
(best said out loud)
fifty sheds of grey – the latest series of books for frustrated gardeners everywhere !
A young couple was expecting a visit from the pastor of their church.
They wanted everything to go smoothly, but their three year old son was just getting the hang of potty training.
He was at the stage where he would announce at the top of his voice, “I gotta pee,” when he had to go to the bathroom.
His father, worried that this might be embarrassing when the minister came to call, instructed the child, “Don’t shout that you’ve got to pee. Whisper!”
That evening the pastor makes his visit. He’s there a very long time while the parents are in the kitchen preparing the meal. The three year old is leaning on one foot and the other.
Finally, the minister asks him, “What’s the matter, son?”
The child looks at him and says, “I’ve gotta whisper!”
The pastor says, “It’s all right, child. Whisper in my ear.”
An Englishman landed at Sydney Airport and was stopped by an immigration official. The official asked him if he had a criminal record. The Englishman replied that he had no idea that it was still compulsory for entry.
2 fish in a tank, one said to the other: “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
Fantastic prize, thank you!
My five year old son squealed with delight when he opened his birthday present from his grandmother. It was a water pistol. He promptly ran to the sink to fill it.
“Mom,” I said. “I’m surprised at you. Don’t you remember how we used make such a mess and drive you crazy with water pistols?”
My mum smiled and said, “Yes, I remember.”
Doctor: What’s your problem?
Patient: I think I’m a chicken.
Doctor: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
WHY ARE BABIES GOOD AT FOOTBALL?
BECAUSE THEY DRIBBLE!!
Knock knock
Who’s there
Me
Me whoooooooo
Yes it’s awful I can’t tell jokes.
What did the policeman say to his tummy?
You’re under a vest!
What do you call a fish with no eyes? … Fsh.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
to get to the other side!
What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeno business!
A man entered a local paper’s pun contest. He sent in 10 different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in 10 did.
What tree needs toilet paper?
A bumboo
I saw a guy pickpocket a midget once. I dunno how anyone could stoop so low.
I stood behind a little old lady at the cash machine today.
She asked me if I would check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
Why did the chicken cross the road?………To get to the other side.
An oldie but a goodie!
The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers,
so I did….she’s 21 and her name’s Lucy
Tarrrrrumpa!! 🙂
I saw a cowboy driving a german car – he wound down the window and said “Audi”
A farmer was carrying a bucket down to his pond when he heard giggling & splashing. When the pond came into view he saw naked girls frolicking about, but when they saw him they called out for him not to look, & to go away. They told him they would not come out of the water until he did. He replied, ‘No worries,carry on. I’ve only come down to feed the alligator!’
Piece of string goes into a pub and says, “Pint please landlord”. Landlord says, “We don’t serve pieces of string in here”. The piece of string goes outside and ties himself up, pulling little bits of himself here and there, he then goes back into the pub and says, “Pint please landlord”. Landlord says, “Aren’t you that piece of string that was in here a minute ago”? “No” says the piece of string, “I’m a frayed knot”…………………………….
What did the man octopus say to the lady octopus? Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?
why did the chicken cross the road?
to get to the other side.
sorry i dont do jokes, this is the only one i can remember!
Where do you find a one legged dog?
Where you left it.
Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
How do you wake Lady Gaga up – Poker face
Why was the Egyptian girl worried?
Because her daddy was a mummy!
“Accept that some days you are the statue and other days you are the pigeon”…not a joke as such but since my windows are covered in bird poo all the time its what instantly sprang to mind!
How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Rename the mail folder to “instruction manuals”
What do you get if you cross a goth and a chicken ?
Free strange eggs (sorry!)
My wife said she wanted to see Jeremy Kyle live… so I got her sister pregnant, we go on tuesday.
Hedgehogs: why can’t they just share the hedge?
Horse goes into a bar. Barman says, “We’ve got a whisky named after you!” Horse replies, “What, George?”
Why was the sand wet? Because the seaweed! ;0)
Why did the film mad chicken cross the road ? To see Gregory Peck x
What do you do with a sick boat? Take it to the DOC! =)
why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side lol
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says: “Is this some kind of joke?”
Whats ET Short for?…
….He’s only got little legs!
Whats Round and Bad Tempered ? A Vicious Circle !!!
A firework was in court the other day, he was worried but it was ok the Judge let him off!
*groan*
why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!
Q – What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A – No idea
Knock Knock Who’s there ? Cheese ! Cheese who ? Cheese a jolly good fellow !
How do you measure how tall father christmas is?
In santa metres 😀
Q: do you know the joke about the blue airplane?
A: no
Q: me neither
why did the chicken cross the road?
to get to the other side
I suffer with fear of giants: Fefifobia
I have a job crushing soft drink cans. It’s soda pressing.
Why don’t elephants like playing cards in the jungle?
Because of all the cheetahs!
knock knock,
whos there
wanna
wanna who
ha ha!
What do you call a train with a cold? An At-choo-choo
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Why are cooks cruel .
Because they whip cream and beat eggs.
2 olives on a table 1 roll of the table , the 1 on table shouts down u ok his mate shouts back… olive (ill live)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
to get to the other side!
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff!
Paddy walks into a bakers and asks “how much are the cheese rolls?”,
“two for a pound” the assistant says ..
“how much for one?” say paddy,
“75p” the assistant replies … paddy says ”
I`ll have the other one”
I was at the cash machine yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other “Does this taste funny”?
Doctor, doctor i feel like a pair of curtains. Pull yourself together boy.
Just tried out a new machine at the gym. It’s fantastic, you should give it a go. It does everything; Mars bars, Kit Kats, crisps, everything!
What do you call 2 lines of cabbages? A dual cabbage way.
what lays at the bottom of the garden and shakes Elvis parsley
Dr Dr, i can’t stop falling through windooooooooowwwwwwwwssssss….thud!
A man walked into a bar. Ouch.
I bought 2 litres of Tippex last week – big mistake!
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
What are prehistoric monsters called when they sleep?
A dinosnore
why is tiggers paws always dirty because he plays with pooh
Why did the one handed man cross the road?
To get to the secondhand shop.
How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Four, one to change it and the other three to deny it.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Boo!
Boo who?
There there don’t cry.
Why did the chicken cross the road? for some foul reason
Why is life like a toilet roll?
Because the nearer the end you get the faster it goes
A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog.
He asks the shopkeeper, “Does your dog bite?”
The shopkeeper says, “No, my dog does not bite.”
The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him.
“Ouch,” he says, “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”
The shopkeeper replies, “That is not my dog.”
Bit rude, but funny!
A cop sat on his horse, waiting to cross the road when a little girl rode up beside him on her new pony.
“Nice pony,” said the cop, “did your fairy godmother get it for you?”
“Yes sir,” said the little girl.
The cop wrote out an on-the-spot fine for £60 for crossing the road incorrectly. “Give this to your mum and dad and next time tell your fairy godmother you need lessons.”
The little girl looked across at the cop and said, “You have a very nice horse sir, did your fairy godmother bring it for you?”
Playing along with the girl, he smiled and answered, “Why, yes she did.”
The little girl looked up at the cop and replied, “Well next time, tell her that the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top!!”
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad you opened the door?
A woman asks her programmer husband to go shopping.
“Dear, please go to the corner store and buy a loaf bread. Also, if they have eggs, buy a dozen.”
“OK, hun.”
20 minutes later the husband returns with 12 loaves of bread. His wife is flabbergasted.
“Dear, why on earth did you buy so much bread?”
“They had eggs.”
How do U make toast in the jungle?
Under a gorilla. (my 8 year olds favourite!)
What do you call cheese that’s not yours?
Nacho cheese!
I asked the boss “Where do you want this 6 metre bubble wrap?”
He replied “Just pop it in the corner”
Four hours it took me!!
Knock knock
Who’s there
Donna
Donna who
Donna a poo
This was my little girls joke-sorry!!
Unfortunately im rubbish at remembering jokes! 🙁
A group of chess enthusiasts were kicked out of a hotel reception for discussing their winning games. The manager can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
Q: What’s the last thing that goes through a fly’s mind as it hits a window pane?
A: It’s bottom. 🙂
That’s the best I can do!
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she’d popped her clogs.
Q: Why did the cowboy ride his horse?
A: Because he was too heavy to carry
A man walks into a bookshop and says “I hope you don’t have a book on reverse psychology.”
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove it wasn’t chicken!
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers?
in case he got a hole in one!
Why is a Cadbury Button rude? Because it’s a Smartie in the nude! 🙂 my fave joke 🙂
What do you call a Frenchman with a sandal on his head?
Filippe Faloppe
A man and wife are on their honeymoon when the husband takes of his pants and gives them to his wife, he tells her to put them on.
She does and tells him there far to big.
He replies telling her “good, remember who wears them in this house”
In return the wife takes off her knickers and gives them to her husband telling him to put them on, “I can get into them there far too small he replies”
The wife replies “now you know how its going to be until your attitude changes”
Why did the lobster blush?
Because he saw the sea wee’d
Why did the one eyed chicken cross the road? To get to the birds eye shop 😀
what do you call a donkey with three legs?
a wonky donkey
what do you call a donkey with three legs and one eye?
a winky wonky donkey
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side!
what did the policeman say to the 3 headed alien? ello ello ello
What did one snowman say to the other?
Do you smell carrots?
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
CLIFF
what do you call a fairy who hasn’t ever had a bath?
Answer – Stinkerbell
What is pink and fluffy?
Pink fluff!
What’s brown & sticky?
A stick!
What are caterpillars afraid of?
Dogerpillars!
I bought my Dad a fridge for his birthday, you should’ve seen his face light up as he opened the door!
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
There was a sausage and egg in a frying pay. The Sausage said to the egg “Gosh, it’s hot in here isn’t it?” And the egg replied “OH MY GOD a talking sausage” lmao x x x
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, “Where the heck is the ceiling?!”
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies !
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?
Hot Cross Bunnies!! 🙂
Do you know the motto of the French Navy?
“A l’eau, c’est l’heure!”
Do you ever get that when you’re half way through eating a horse and you think to yourself, ‘I’m not as hungry as I thought I was’
What do you call a donkey with three legs?
a wonkey!
(well my 7 year old son thought it was funny hehe) x
Why did the bald headed man stick his head out of the window?
To get some fresh hair! x
What’s brown & sticky? A stick!
What have you got if you’ve got a green ball in one hand and a green ball in the other hand?
Kermit the Frog’s full attention!
What do you call a deaf dog? Anything because he can’t hear you!
a man walked into a bar and said ouch! 🙂
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains
Pull yourself together!
What do you call a fish with no eye ?
FSH !
How do you get Pikachu on a bus?
Poke-him-on
“A man walked into a bar”…. Ouch!
You’re no fun I really want to see your demo video now heehee. Ok I’m awful at jokes, so here’s one of DS’s….
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it! 😀
What do you get if you sit under a cow? A pat on the head!
When I was little I loved tractors, not anymore though, guess you could call me an ExTractor fan. Boom Boom xx
whats black and white striped and pink all over?
sunburnt zebra
What’s an Irishman hanging from the ceiling called? Sean Daleer 🙂
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says: “Sorry, we don’t serve food in here”
A bloke commented to his wife that her arse looked like a rotating washing machine when she walked. Later that night feeling horny he asked her if she wanted sex, no she replied im not putting the machine on for a small load.!
– Yesterday a book fell on my head.
– Unfortunately, I only had my shelf to blame.
What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef! (sorry, I’m rubbish at telling jokes)
What did the policeman say to his tummy? I’ve got you under a vest!
Why did the mushroom go to the party? because he was a fun guy(funghi)
Went to the paper shop. It had blown away…
I’m good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet… I don’t know Y! x
Great little bit of kit
Really takes seconds to do a window
And does a really good job
I found one cheaper than anywhere else
Here.