Let me begin by saying, I really like Steve Carell. He’s a good actor, I tend to like the roles he plays, he seems like an all-round good stick.

But he’s getting on my nerves.

So far this week, we’ve heard him doing voices in Despicable Me, Over the Hedge and Horton Hears a Who. It’s not an over-saturation problem as such, like with certain celebs. Like how, a few years ago, I got genuinely so sick to the back teeth of seeing Johnny Depp in EVERYTHING Tim Burton did. I know he’s good and all that, but I’m bored with him now. No. It’s because I have to try to work out a way to explain to Sausage why Gru, Hammy and Ned McDodd the Mayor of Whoville all sound the bloody same, without ruining the magic for her!

As far as I’m concerned, big Hollywood actors should be allowed to do a voice over for ONE iconic children’s character and that’s it. EVER.

It’s like the superhero paradox. Let’s use the awesome Hugh Jackman as an example. Hugh Jackman IS Wolverine. If he showed up in a different superhero film playing a different character, the world would implode. That’s simple, basic physics for you.

When we heard rumours of a Captain America movie, I immediately thought that Aaron Eckhart would have made a brilliant Steve Rogers (if maybe a tad old), but it doesn’t matter. He was already Harvey Dent and that’s a parallel that just should not be crossed.

Sausage is a huge Octonauts fan and the other day we were watching a new show on Cbeebies and a character had the same voice as Peso. Luckily, she’s 4 and willing to suspend her disbelief but, as far as she’s concerned, Peso is not just a series of cells, coloured in by an overworked animator in some Canadian studio, he’s a real penguin, driving around the oceans in an eight-armed super-sub who puts real sunscreen on real albino humpback whales and is real-life pals with a real ginger-pirate-cat. STOP RUINING THIS FOR HER.

It’s making me want to go lioness on all of these dumbasses who are spoiling my child’s innocence. I know kids have to grow up and learn the realities of the world at some point, but that should be a decision that me and Husband get to make, not Andy bloody Peters (isn’t he King of the BBC?).

So yeah, as much as I love him: