A Right Royal Idiot.

I’ve been steering clear of the internet today, specifically Facebook and Twitter. I simply cannot be arsed to get drawn into some petty debate about how William absolutely deserves to have a fuck-off great big wedding, paid for by the serfs, because he does a bit of charity work. But then I thought, hey, I can write it all on my blog, where I don’t have to listen to the flag-waving, jingoistic bullshit that’s been grinding my gears all day.

Let me preface the next few paragraphs by saying this; I’m really happy for William and Kate and hope they have a long and happy marriage. Congratulations.

But they aren’t the ones I’m pissed off with. I’m pissed off with you. Yes YOU. The idiots who slept on the streets all night, despite having a perfectly good hotel room, so they could get a good view of the Royal precession. The people who keep telling me it’s unpatriotic of me to feel a little cynical about today’s events (One of Husbands friends got it spot on today when he said something along the lines of ‘standing in the street, cheering for people who are richer than us doesn’t make you patriotic’) The people who went to London dressed in wedding dresses to show their support.

I’ll give it to the Royals, they’re clever bastards (that’ll be all the private education WE paid for…). Here’s what they’ve done. They’ve organised the biggest wedding in Britain since simpering halfwit David Beckham married the soulless stick insect, whilst the country is in a recession and scraping by the best they can. They’ve organised a massive party, sent us the bill, then told us we can’t go (someone far cleverer than me said that, but I can’t remember who it was).

And then, if that wasn’t bad enough, they’ve deigned to allow us a day off of work, in the form of a bank holiday. Yes, that’s right, a BANK holiday, the banks, those fuckers who got the country in this state in the first place. I could add far more, like how every single person in that chapel was dripping in jewels and designer outfits that they probably didn’t have to pay a penny for, just because they’d be seen at the Royal Wedding, but I won’t.

And are we, as a country, outraged and revolting against the injustice? No. We’re standing in London, WAVING FUCKING FLAGS! We’re watching it on not one, but two TV channels, our kids are even treated to a Pingu wedding special on CBeebies.

So no. It’s not the Royals I’m pissed off with. It’s all of you. Because if the Royal Wedding had taught me one thing, it’s that people are idiots.

7 thoughts on “A Right Royal Idiot.

  1. ha ha ha ha ha FAB post!!! Hee hee!! I have celebrated the wedding this weekend (kind of) but I wil blog about my reasons for that. Its not a royalist thing, perhaps more of a if you can’t beat em join em type of thing. I have to say that camping out overnight is incredibly sad. I think that as the wedding was such a major part of history then its only right that people want to mark that occasion, for me its for my kids to have a memory of the day- that’s why we had a party. We didn’t watcht the wedding or wave flags, more so we laughed at the ridiculous flag I pinned to the garden fence!! Anyway, I will be posting about my royal wedding weekend and its probably totally different to yours but I still love you anyway!

  2. Can i just profess my undying love for you Jayne!!!! You are fanbloodytastic! I feel rather an idiot for getting drawn up in the royal wedding hype yesterday after spending weeks ranting along the lines you have blogged about. You honest veiw is refreshing and spot on! You made me laugh out very loud i salute you!

  3. I couldn’t disagree more. I am a huge fan of the Royals, especially William and if I could have guaranteed my 11 yr old wouldn’t have whinged I would have camped out as long as it took for a good view of them.

    The Royal family does a huge amount for our country, not just charity work but the income they bring in to the country via tourism is massive…Infact this wedding will help towards digging us out of the financial mess we are all in at the moment. Despite our country being green & beautiful I really dont think we would be as attractive to tourists without the Royals. They generate a huge amount of interest from all over the world.They are also good for public relations with other countries.

    If the monachy was abolished it would have to be replaced by a head of state ie a president whos office would equally cost a huge expense and they wouldn’t bring in as much tourism as a king or Queen.

    I think our country waste money on a lot of crap other than the monachy like people claiming benefits they aren’t entitled to, silly ID cards, legal aid to criminal polititians…the list is endless.

    1. I agree with a lot of the things you’ve said here, and didn’t actually call for the royal family to be ousted. I think that if we have to have a monarch, William will do a good job, and respect his role in the military. I also agree about the tourism, as so many people want to see Buckingham Palace, although I have to say, the French get more than their fair share of tourism, even without their monarcy, and the Revolution is part of their history as much as having a monarchy is a part of ours.

      As for being good PR with other countries…I have to disagree with that point, as Prince Phillip is best known for his ‘diplomatic’ visits where he’s made some hugely embarrassing racist gaffes, and that’s supposed to be when he’s representing us as a country. I think because of the roayls behaviour we’re largely viewed as a bunch of bumbling, toffee-nosed idiots. My point really wasn’t that I want to get rid of them, I just don’t think that they’re entitled to all of that pomp and expense while the rest of us are struggling. It feels like an enormous kick in the pants to me, and whilst I know everyone has jumped on me and said that Wills didn’t choose to be born a royal, fair enough, I didn’t CHOOSE to be born to a working class family in Essex, but does that make me less important? I do charity work, though I’d probably do a lot more if I had nothing to do but pick my arse, like a lot of people in a privileged position!

  4. I think it’s a real shame that you feel like this but if that’s how you feel, I can’t deny. However, it seems you begrudge other people a good time and to be happy. William didn’t choose to be born who he was. I guess she had a choice to an extent but possibly not.

    I wasn’t that into it but I’ve watched at home and I’ve enjoyed it today. Twitter was brilliant today.

    Oh, and the amount of money generated by tourism etc far far outweighs any cost of the wedding.

    PS A Bank holiday is just an official term, public holidays are less official.

  5. Oh bah humbug! 😉

    I do understand where you are coming from, but I don’t agree with it. I’m sure that I’ve read in various places that the Queen and the Middletons are paying for the wedding, and the taxpayers contribution is to pay for the security. I don’t have a problem with that.

    Anyway, if we all agreed with the same thing then life would be boring indeed!

    1. I’ve heard that the Middletons are paying too, and also that the Queen has paid some but lets face it, the Queens money comes from what she draws from the civil list, so we’ve ended up paying in one way or another. Don’t get me wrong, when it comes to VE Day and other such things, I’m up there with my bunting with the best of them, I just think it’s unfair that they live lives of such privilege while the rest of us suffer, yet we’re all still cheering them on in their opulance!

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