Opinion · Personal · Relationships

Inequality? It goes both ways, you know.

Husband and I have a long running debate regarding music videos. It’s the age-old discussion of whether there really needs to be so much skin in all of them. We’re both fans of many genres of music, and are both partial to the odd dance track. But whenever we put MTV Dance on the TV, it seems that every video is one step away from soft porn, and it’s getting worse.

Scantily clad women have always been a feature of music videos. Most people focus on rap music and the in-the-camera butt-jiggling that goes on in them, and that’s definitely an issue. Then there’s the rock videos, and as a longtime fan of Guns ‘N’ Roses, I’ve seen plenty of half-naked women in rock videos. Hell, even Cher is in on it. How she kept her labia in check in the video for ‘If I Could Turn Back Time’, I’ll never know. But these days, things seems to have gone a bit further.

I don’t know if it started with Benny Benassi and his ‘Satisfaction’ video, where women in skimpy outfits are in charge of heavy-duty construction equipment, but it certainly carried on with the elongated crotch-shots in Eric Prydz’ ‘Call on Me’ (and yeah, I know he’s Swedish and they have different boundaries!). Now, Husband thinks I am a massive prude for my distaste at these videos, but I just get really sick of seeing these so-called perfect women prancing about on my screen. And I’m not even going to try to pretend that it isn’t to do with my own body issues, because that would just insult your intelligence. But it bugs me, okay?

The other element to our debate is that I think that it’s unfair, the way these women are paraded around as perfect, and the rest of us are expected to live up to it. It’s another bit of added pressure to womankind. However, Husband believes that there’s just as much, if not more, pressure on men these days, and he blames the good ol’ Sex and the City girls. According to him, women may feel pressured to look good, but since the inimitable girls of the HBO show turned up, men have been under pressure to look good, earn a huge wage, have a huge *ahem* member, be amazing in bed, more romantic than a Hugh Grant movie, great at buying gifts….the list goes on.

I must admit, when I started writing this post, I fully had the intention of poo-pooing everything that Husband was saying, but the more I consider it, the more I see where he’s coming from. And, in the style of the fabulous Miss Bradshaw, I ask you…Do we expect too much from our men?

There seems to be this opinion that women should be loved for who they are…so why do I so often hear about women trying to change their men? Many of us think that boyfriends and husbands are a work in progress, and to a certain extent, yes, many men need to be nagged into putting their pants in the washing basket, but shouldn’t we at least be happy with the fundamentals of who we committed ourselves to? Wouldn’t there be uproar from the female community if we suspected our men of trying to change us? I’m sorry if I’m betraying the sisterhood here, but it’s how I feel, and I’m not known for keeping my mouth shut!

I’d love to know what you all think about this, my comments box is waiting with bated breath!

5 thoughts on “Inequality? It goes both ways, you know.

  1. At the end of the day, if men really were everything that we wanted them to be, we’d soon get bored and go in search of something less perfect. I think they keep us on our toes, and ladies – we need that!

  2. Hey !

    I think after reading that your husband may have a point, we want the metrosexual male with the intelligence, romance and emotional side, but we also want brut man – the DIY expert, a bit of a six pack and someone that could protect us on a night out! We do want a l lot from them really! Plus we are complicated creatures to please – I am sure my husband gets confused by my demands (poor sod) which changes from one day to the next!


  3. So I just looked at your comments box and there aren’t any?! Why not? This is a good post! A perfect example of “The One That Should Have Done Better!”

    I started reading this thinking ‘Jayne, you are having a laugh, don’t be so sexist!’ but actually I think I agree. If you think about it, men just want to see a bit of flesh every now and again. We want that (but not too often thanks!), consideration, tidiness, diplomacy, co-operation, tidiness (I know I’ve mentioned it twice, but it’s an issue in this household), empathy, telepathy and friendship. It’s an awful lot of pressure we put on them, and is unfair on them *and* us, because we are then never happy!

    Brilliant post!

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